Once again I am just filling my obligation of a daily post. I have no new pictures. No new art is finished, yet. Seems like my whole life is just suspended in planning stage. I woke up early and took a shower to be ready to go shopping with my sister. She called and changed her mind. I had no plan B. My head felt woozy so I went back to sleep. My blood pressure was high in the afternoon, so I took the new drug the doc prescribed for such an occasion. I did not go back and recheck my pressure. There was nothing more I could do about it anyway. It rained most of the day to boot. Blah.
I had a strange sleep last night. I woke up several times. Once I panicked that I had not set the alarm clock. I reached up, grabbed my cell phone, and I set it for 6:45 AM. I woke up again and looked at the phone wondering why the alarm did not go off. It was only 5ish. I then realized it was Saturday, no reason for an alarm. So I turned it off. Sometime during all of that I was in a dream with some famous people. We were just hanging out, standing in a circle, inside a house. Right now, I can’t even recall their names. Two were famous women. One more so than the other. There were also some other people I did not recognize. I guess it does not matter now, since I did not write it down when I awoke. I went to sleep before midnight for the first time in a long while. I might do the same again, but this time I am taking my notebook.
I don’t like that I can remember my nightmares, but not the sweet dreams. I once, about ten years ago, had a nightmare about a one eyed, one arm man coming into the store that I worked at at shooting everyone (not me). I can still see him walking over bodies strewn on the floor. The next day at work, a customer asked me a question, and when I turned around, I was face to face with a bald man with one eye. I am not sure how I answered him. I am sure I promptly made it to the ladies room and stayed there long enough to make sure he was out of the store before I returned. He did return several times, but I could spot him across my department. I am sorry I could not wait on him, but I did what I had to do. I avoided the situation, and everyone lived.
I made it to OT and PT, and lived through it. I really did not keep up my OT at home, so was anxious when I first arrived today. She worked more on my fingers and wrist. I have potential, to be able to grasp with three fingers, greatly increasing function on my left side. Now I am waiting for my hand splint to come in. That should help decrease my “tone”. For anyone not familiar with tone, it is the muscle group that takes over, resulting in the curled up claw hand. The first and only time I went to stroke support group, everyone was exhibiting some tone. Many therapists have told me many different ways to fight this. I am still trying. I need to try harder. I hope to live a long time and prefer not to have too many obstacles in my way. I am basically writing this post to myself, so when I read it again I will know how far I have come. I am hoping it won’t be the opposite of how lazy I was and failed.
I usually procrastinate so long I feel it is too late to try. I have many bad habits, mostly eating sugar and not being active enough. I always can name excuses much faster than taking action. I need to kick myself in the arse, and get going. I know time is going by faster every day. In just a few days, there will be only one month left this year. I am going to tackle one thing everyday (In December) that moves me forward. I hope to fill up my December chart by the end of this month.
I attempted to walk at the school again. Locked out again. I will have to call Monday to see what is up. At least I was one of four, so it was not my new entry badge that was the problem. In a better attempt at time management I hope to be asleep before midnight. No morning nap, or only a short one.
It will be a great night for watching Christmas movies on netflix. I did not see what they have available streaming yet. I am hoping for a classic or campy one I have not seen yet. I have not watched a movie in about a week. I certainly have not got my money’s worth this month. It will make me feel more frugal to see 30 movies for $8, instead of 2 or 3. I will hopefully forget I feel guilty for not working out as much as I should this week. In my never ending repertoire of excuses, I am waiting for my jaw to heal, the sun to shine, and my ship to come in. I went to take my should be nightly walk at the school. I could not get in. Twinkling lights, carols sung by stars, and furniture and clothing from the 50’s will keep the therapy nazis off my conscience.
Yet again, I don’t have a post of substance. I apologize for that. I had killer heartburn today. Since it is not something I usually get, I blame it on the antibiotic I have to take. Just one more day of that. I hope it knocks out my infection as much as it is knocking me out. I managed to get my ID to walk indoors at the school during the dark winter. My pedometer is ready. I wish the indoor pool would open back up too. There are not many options other than skiing and skating to keep in shape around here in the winter. As much as I hate being out in the snow, I still like to do some tubing or sledding. I should be able to manage that, as long as I take my cane down the hill with me.
I do miss some yummy junk food that I no longer eat. Rippled potato chips is one of the salty ones. Ice cream by the buckets, so creamy and delicious. I have had ice cream 5 or 6 times since my stroke. I will probably cut that back even further. I will save it for special occasions just 3 or 4 times per year. I have been eating too many cookies and cake lately, that needs to stop. I am not giving them up, just cutting way back. My weight has been holding steady, but I want to lose another 30 pounds. I ate my fair share of Halloween candy. I think that they make the fun size bars the freshest. If I talk about how glutenous I have been it might help me avoid it in the future. I could be wrong. I might be found dead, face down in a bowl of melted chocolate.
Seriously, some of the healthiest foods are yummy too. Sweet potatoes, or yams are one ingredient wonders. I don’t need to add marsh mellows or even butter. Watermelon and honeydew I could eat everyday, straight up. Peppers, green, red, roasted, perfection. Peppers even though tasty, seem more filling with other foods like pasta, pizza, potatoes, or rice. I am also in love with kettle corn. I plan on popping plain fat free corn and sprinkling powdered sugar and just a pinch of salt. I have been eating Orville’s Smart Pop, single size microwave bag everyday for a snack. I have not been lately because of my dental problems. Soon as I feel up to it, that is one snack I crave. Big sigh…….can you tell I am starving as I write this?
I don’t have a degree in town (or city) planning. It would make sense to me to have a working train system before investing money in a brand new train depot. This town is not the only one that puts the cart before the horse. When I lived in Pennsylvania, they had a beautiful station built to accept the droves of people visiting from NYC. I waited over 5 years for that service to start. What a fun day trip it would be to ride into the Big Apple for the day. The train service is still in the works. Maybe now that I no longer live there it will become a reality. Now I live in the middle of “Bumfuch” as I lovingly call it. They have built a brand new train depot in hopes that a rail service will someday resurrect from the industrial age of the towns humble beginnings. It is a pleasant dream. Trains are cool. Little boys (and girls) love to play with choo choos. Mass transportation is increasingly an economical necessity. I won’t be living here to hear the whistle blow. I won’t hear “all aboard” from across the tracks as I take my daily walk. I have real plans. I am moving closer to civilization where trains continue their daily commutes. It will be beautiful when my former hometown’s plan comes together, and I will come back to visit to see for myself. For now, I can not wait for dreams to materialize. I have to live fully the days I have left.
I will feel much better after my dentist visit tomorrow. My molar cracked in half, and I feel the pain in my jaw. My regular dentist said I needed an oral surgeon to extract it. The root is too close to the nerves or something like that. I am not looking forward to the blood and pain, but I know it will heal. If I was rich, I would get solid stainless steel teeth with pearly overlays.
I have been feeling down today, I did not even go outside for a walk. I have not been eating much either, so it all balances out. Surprisingly, my blood pressure was in the normal range! That is rare. I also thought my bad teeth caused my pressure to rise. So, I still don’t know why it too high most of the time.
My brain is not in a very creative mode, so short post today. Hopefully, tomorrow will be much better.
I waited for the snow to melt, then took advantage of the sunshine and walked to the park. My knee felt like I was hiking all day. I was glad I shot a few hoops, and took a few pictures. I made it back as the sun turned to clouds. It was an omen, from then on my day just got worse. I got an unexpected call from my son’s father. I will just say, I feel like I was born into a sitcom, where I make an appearance on Jerry Springer. It never stops, recurring guest, different show topic. My son is a great kid, I hope all his genes are from me, except for the stroke risk.
My drama turned into a toothache. I can’t wait for my dentist appointment Monday. I need to search for something to keep my mind occupied tomorrow.
I almost missed today’s post, today flew by so fast. It snowed most of the day, it melted most of the time. When I got out of therapy this afternoon, it happened to cover my car just enough to slow me down. I still had several errands to do, so by the time I arrived home the bottom of my pants were soaked from trudging through the parking lots. My OT is helping my arm finally. I can lock my elbow long enough to do a few simple exercises. I still have a long way to go, but I got the insurance approval for my hand splint. Hopefully that will arrive in a few weeks or less. It was ordered today.
Nothing tragic happened today, not around here anyway. My son, his cousin, and his friend from down the street played out during the blizzard, and had a snowball fight. I am so glad he took a break from the computer and video games. He also shocked me by adding a book to his birthday wish list. I was done shopping, but there is always room for books.
Only about an hour left for 11-11, and then I anxiously await 12-12, then 12-21. I am just kidding, I am thankful for each day, one day at a time.