Month: April 2012
So Like Sunday

My day of rest over, but I am exhausted. Why do I get severe jet lag from being in a car? I love looking out the window. It was fun talking to my Mom and sister the whole time. Once today, I even burst out laughing, thinking about one thing my mother said yesterday. My sister and I laughed yesterday too. Then we both sigh and say “oh boy” under our breath. As we drove by the former place I once lived, I said “that is the road I used to live on”. My mother replies, “I didn’t know you then” (insert instant laughter). I turned around and introduced myself, after all this time, I thought she knew me since birth. She is priceless.
My car is packed, think of a modern version of the Beverly Hillbillies. I do not resemble Miss Ellie, more like Granny. Everything is inside except the shotgun across my lap, and without a jug of moonshine. Boxes that would be too heavy for me to carry with one hand are divided into shopping bags. Maybe I could grab a shopping cart to get my stuff from my car to my front door. My sidewalk is grassy, and my driveway is a bit away from the house.
Running On Empty

I am mentally and physically exhausted. We made a 4 hour each way trip to attend a family funeral. Between the sadness of seeing my aunt so lonely and my 90 something year old uncle crying at his younger brothers funeral, I am mentally caputz.
I took my camera on the trip, but did not take a single picture. The cemetery had a rough lawn that I twisted my ankle and I almost collapsed. My communication skills were stretched trying to talk to cousins I had not seen or talked with in many years.
I Am A Homeowner!

The closing is complete. If I did not live three hours away, or have a funeral to attend tomorrow I would be there right now. I have started to pack my car for my first trip, maybe Monday. Well, I have one chair packed in the front seat. I was anxious if it would fit or not. I am not moving until late June, but the place needs some cleaning and painting, and a whole lot of yard work. The whole process will consume most of my time for months. I am so thankful for pinterest, so I can recheck some of the great ideas I pinned.
My Camera In Dream Mode

I am not sure if it is operator error (most likely). My camera either takes amazingly clear pictures, or progressively blurry pictures. Maybe it is reflecting my eyesight. I still have not taken any recent pictures. I forgot my camera on my travels Wednesday. I missed a few interesting things I drove by that I would have liked to stop and shoot.
Today, I did not accomplish much (yet). I did some laundry. I tried to take things to pack in the car. As I brought one chair out, I noticed it started raining. I did not feel like getting wet as I tried to figure out how my iron outdoor chair was going to fit in my car. I plan on making detailed lists of what I want to accomplish in the next 6 weeks.
Family Dynamics

My older son insists he did not know about “my” uncle’s service this Saturday, or that he even died (this past Jan). He also does not remember meeting one of my favorite Uncles. I feel guilty of not incorporating my extended family into their life (after all, it is their family too). I can only move forward, and try to do better. I started by informing my two brothers, because (ugh) I think my mom forgot to forward the info about the service to them. She also never asked them if they were going, that would have been their first clue. Well, hopefully everyone will have the chance to meet up to give my uncle a proper send off.
My twin twenty year old nephews were in a horrific suv vs tree accident last night. Since I was up early to go meet my lawyer 3 hours away, I skipped checking my internet this morning. So, I did not find out about the accident until I got back. Luckily one nephew is not injured, and the other despite skull fractures and some internal bleeding was released this afternoon. One of their friends is still in critical care. Another with fractured vertebrae was released today also. I hope they realize how lucky they are to be alive. I also hope they drive safer next time. They were driving too fast on a curvy road. I hope I get to see more of my family, before it is too late.
Just Like Christmas Eve

It even snowed today! And there was hail, and bright sunshine, and rain, and repeat. Repeat more than once.
I am full of anticipation. I have two days of road trips. Tomorrow is meet with a lawyer. Thursday, closing day, I meet the water department. I also get to unload some items that will help out with the cleaning and painting weekend coming up. I need to take lots of measurements, and take more pictures. It is a pleasant dream come true. I also have more pinterest plans I am dying to try out. I will try cardboard planters, and making a dragonfly out of an old ceiling fan. I will also make plans to pilfer some old barn boards from my backyard. I am not sure if it is my property, or if I need to hunt down permission from someone else.
I made crockpot kidney beans the other day. It was a so so experience. They cooked too long. I also used too much water and not enough spice. Next time I am cutting the onion up much smaller. The recipe called for fourths. I don’t like big onions, so I cut it into eights. Next time I am doing a small dice. Not all is lost, because I froze a bunch to cook up with peppers and spices for tortillas in the near future. I currently used some in my tomato, red peppers, low sodium soup(trader joe’s). Not bad, but needs more spice than just black pepper.
Closing is getting closer

I have a million things on my mind. More than half, have to do with my house closing this Thursday. What I need to pack in the car to empty into the new house. What will be most useful, yet light enough for me to carry with one hand? How much will fit in one tiny car? Is my sister going to make it up (she lives next door) to retrieve some of my things that are packed away in the garage attic?
Some of the worrisome things I have been thinking of lately have to do with my health. Years before my stroke, I had complained to the doctor of feeling dizzy, and something about the top of my head was not right. I tried to explain the ringing, coming from the top of my head. Always misunderstood, the doctors think I am talking about my ears ringing. NOOOO, I have been to loud concerts in small venues. I know the difference between my ears ringing and what I feel happening in my head. Sometimes I feel like it is filled with water. The neurologist said it was some main nerves that ran up the back of my head getting squeezed by tension. I was relieved temporarily, thinking it was just nerve squeezing. After having blood drip out of my nose for no reason, I think they are all wrong. I just want to blog here, for the record, I have a deep instinct, that they are all wrong. I have had blood come out of my ears, for no reason. I now had watery blood come out of my nose. I think the worms are eating into my brain. My blood pressure has been good lately. I checked several times this weekend. My iron has been normal (the best in most of my anemic life). Now I await to move, to find a new doctor, that might have the correct diagnosis for me. I just want to get this all written down. I still believe that someday in the future, healthcare will catch up with research. Logic and common sense will be brought back into business. Healthcare will incorporate logic and common sense once again, but not be a business, but a part of humanity. Until then, the worms in my brain will have a free lunch.
Snow in the Forecast for Tonight
Oops, missed a day, because I am late

Once again, time has sped up and past without me noticing. Was I having fun? Not really, I was watching tv shows on Netflix. It was the thing to do whilst cold and late. I make no excuses for having to warm my feet up when they are cold. I was warmer earlier when I had the oven on to make the best potato wedges. I bought a bag of really small potatoes, they were almost small enough to be salt potatoes. It made it easy for me to slice them up with one hand. I also started using my left hand to help me wash dishes. I might have done that before. My mother has a touch of OCD, so when she is around I don’t wash them. I can straighten my thumb and pointer finger much easier now. It gives me hope that I can defeat the tone someday.