Resolutions for 2013

IMG_4430I decided I am perfect enough not to make those personal, I will lose weight, be a better person type resolutions. I am just going to make a point of doing more of what I daydream about, and let all anxiety melt off of me before it gets to me. I actually did some work at home today, I have 4 new things listed, and relisted all items that ended on ebay. I have no bids on anything yet, but I have more pictures of items ready to list. I might work on that some more tonight, or I might just take a long nap.

I made the spaghetti, for an early dinner. My son went over to the neighbors. I was invited over there too, but I think I want to stay home all night.

Pizza Is Beautiful Perfect Food

IMG_4461I took a little road trip on Christmas, just one small reason I have not posted lately. I usually have pizza at least once a week. I usually make it myself. While on vaca I had nada a slice. That is very unusual for me. My son had pizza on the road on the way there, also the way back, plus two slices on his birthday. I can not eat and drive at the same time anymore. Since my stroke, I need my only working hand to drive. Yesterday, back and safe at home, I made my homemade dough into two trays of pizza. One was plain cheese, for the plain kid with limited taste tolerance. Mine was made of what was left in the freezer and fridge after me trying to eat everything to bare cupboards (only for freshness rotation, and lack of funds to purchase more food). I made a yeast crust with white and rye flour. Then used the last drops of spaghetti sauce in the house (very rare occurrance), added Honey French dressing, chopped frozen onions defrosted, chopped frozen baby brussel sprouts defrosted, leftover from Thanksgiving (date still good til 2013) ricotta cheese, and a sprinkling of mozzarella. I also sprinkled on garlic powder and dried italian seasoning under the cheese. The end result pictured above. I ate it with red pepper flakes for more flavor. It was edible, but could have used more red sauce and a less mushy vegetable, but I was out of roasted red peppers and green peppers, so just sucked it up.

Todays cooking adventure, or fail, judging by how hungry I was waiting for soup to cook in my crockpot. I had it set on high. I ended up eating a small bowl of crunchy grains and beans in a flavorless broth at 9PM. I just turned it off and put into the fridge at midnight. Ready or not, I am tired, I will eat it or finish cooking it tomorrow. It has a veggie stock base, and a barley and bean mixture soup mix, plus I added a lot of celery and some spices. I need to doctor it up with more spice and or canned tomatoes after my trip to the store tomorrow. I also made homemade biscuits, they were edible. So, I ate too many waiting for my soup. I also had one of my sons peeps Christmas trees.

I am trying to vary my sons limited diet. He would not try the soup, or my biscuits. He had scrambled eggs and celery sticks for dinner. I had planned on making spaghetti tomorrow, being New Year’s Eve. I guess it is because I saw something on Sesame Street 30 years ago. It was a Chinese tradition (maybe for birthdays)  about long noodles long life. I know I am not going out, so we will watch the fireworks and ball drop on the telly. I have to think of some new food for that stubborn boy to try.

I am melting

Not really, but I got the bottom of my jeans soaked walking to my car. My house is melting. It is sinking into the swamp that is my yard. Next year I will have raised and container gardens only, the rest will wash away. All I could think of walking to the car is what if I fall. I would be covered in mud and it would take me an hour to change. I did not fall yet. I hope it dries up before I head out to the doctor for the first time in months tomorrow.IMG_4237

Cold Wet Rain


I am glad we have rain instead of snow. No shoveling, no clearing off the car, yet. It does seem very unnatural  in a way. I guess the Winter is not officially started yet either. I sent out my Christmas cards today. I did not write much in them. My handwriting takes dyslexic turns for the worst. I even messed up with my own name and writing “Love”. I kept them as is, mistakes and all.  I might do a short newsletter or make my own cards next year. Postcards sound good, I hate licking envelopes. I also like the idea of someone else, like postal workers, reading my mail. I most likely will try to make them funny. I might start working on Valentines now, since I think the art of correspondence has been trampled by texting and facebook. The Mayans were most likely correct, but we are looking for an instant change or end of world doom. The change has been creeping in for years, we are almost cyborgs. We become dependent on a system to solve our problems for us. We blame the system if we fail. We still can not get enough technology,  yet we don’t use it for what we truly need. We need experiences with taste, touch, smells, real life. We need seasons of change, individualism, problem solving at a basic level. I am sending paper cards with printed words, it is a step back towards  an idyllic time.

A Happy New Year

IMG_4188For 28 families in CT today the Mayans were correct. It was the end of their world. It is looking like living without fear of the unknown will also become harder for many. I want to look ahead to a New Year, starting early. In case we don’t have that privilege in a few weeks. This antique post card I am selling is also ironic. The people (mostly women) that they hired one hundred years ago to apply the gilding would get a disease from touching the metal in the paints.

I went to the Friday night auction, good thing. There will not be one next week. I bought some random stuff. I had buyers remorse early on, but I can’t return the stuff. I have to hope it sells. The fun stuff I do not regret is an antique scythe (think grim reaper). Someday it will hang on my shed wall. I also bought a box of antique cast iron items. It included a star trivet, antique triangle dinner bell, and a few ornate old fashion irons with their resting trivets. Something I always wanted, a receipt spindle. I kind of think I had one before, but I could just be so intertwined with my fantasy life I can’t tell the difference. I also bought a full box of assorted hardware, because it had a metal star in it. I can’t wait to dig piece by piece and see what treasures it has. I bought an antique wedding dress. Why, why not for a few dollars? I am a bottom feeder, taking the things no one else bid on. I have made some profit in the past doing this, I hope to again, and again. Some of the other neat things included with my purchases were old pulleys and an old door knob, maybe 100 years old.

I have over 100 things listed for sale now. Most things do not sell and I have to list them 5 or 6 times before they do. If it ever snows this winter I have enough projects to keep me busy. I never photographed all my postcards I bought before. I still have some books to photograph and list, besides random things still tucked into my closet. A Happy New Year to me will be my roof re-done, my shed redone with windows and better doors, and a dog fence built before the heat of summer.

Kayo, Ok


I bought a tiny holly plant today. I have always wanted one. I feel I am deserve to finally have all the plants I love in my yard. I just love that I have my own yard. Ms. Holly has berries this year. She will stay inside for now. If I don’t kill her by spring, I am going  to plant her into a planter instead of into the ground. She is that small and I don’t want any weed eater accidents. I also am holding off putting anything permanently into the ground. My town/village is supposed to install sewer lines (soon I hope). Since I have a corner lot, I will have more to dig up, unless they are installed across the street. I really can’t wait to save up enough for a dog fence too. It is too dark so early, so the park is closed at dark. It messes up my whole routine trying to get everything done by 4-4:30. If my yard was fenced I could play with Ash outside in the dark, without fear she will attack the small dogs walking by. She gets nerved up watching them from inside the car, so I don’t trust her not to go after them.

My front yard is still squishy, even  though it was sunny today. I hope it stays dry long enough to make a difference. I hope it stays dry for a few days so I can try to burn in my new fire pit too.

My little Baby is going to be 13 in two weeks

Damin Tobyhanna PA State pkI found this old pic of him on my computer. He is about 6 or 7 here. WordPress changed their format just enough that I am totally confused. It used to be easy for me, now I am guessing that something will show up when I post. I hope I figure this out before the end of the world. When we are being sucked through the wormhole I wonder if our technology will be preserved somewhere in some dimension? Maybe it will look like pictures of crop circles, cave paintings, or Easter Island to some new life form. I hope they find the angry cat, Tarder Sauce. He is my new facebook go to for sharing. After being told all my life to turn my frown upside down, fuck you. I was born this way, my mouth just naturally downturns, After my stroke, now that my face feels numb, I care even less what other people think. I might even laugh or cry too much at some little whittisism I encounter. I laugh more than I cry lately. I don’t think it is because I am happier, I think it is just because I don’t worry about much any more. I don’t worry about my place in the world, or if I will have food tomorrow. I do my best, and everything just falls into place. It falls into someplace, even if I don’t see it. The wormhole could already be starting to open. In the voice of Tarder Sauce, I say, “Good”.



It is 12/12/12, I spent the last few hours listing a few more things on ebay. I was distracted a million times, so I don’t have even half done of all the pictures I took today. I sold a few things today finally, after a little dry spell.

I need to take Ash for a run tomorrow. She almost bit my face trying to get my attention to play. She was wound up for sure. Damin napped too long (middle school must be as tough as Kindergarten), so she was missing the attention from him as well.