It is a messed up medical system

IMG_5081After spending a few hours on the phone today with my doctor, former doctor, and the medical records department of my former healthcare system, I feel totally screwed and give up hope that anyone in the medical profession is going to help me. Yet, they get paid anyway, so what the hell do they care.  I need to call them back Monday, to see if my records finally made it there.  I then will have to ask if they still have my appointment for next month, and if any of my concerns will be addressed. My mammogram from almost two years ago was not good, and after waiting for them to sort that out and reschedule a better one at my former doctor (which never happened), I finally remembered my current doctor was going to check into it. Well, they did not do a damn thing. I made an ass of myself with my messed up speech and accused them of being incompetent. I know now at least they will remember me. It is sad I have to be my own advocate, because I suck at it. BUT, it is their job that they get paid for. I will try to keep on top of them, because I have no trust since my stroke that any doctor even cares. Yes, I believe they care about jumping through hoops and following laws, but they forget that the hoops and laws protect them not the patients. I don’t care who knows my HIPPA (another annoying acronym) info, as long as it saves my life. I would rather my identity stolen than more of my brain cells lost or have years go by without a cancer diagnosis.

I am done with my rant, I took my dog for a walk to calm down. It was trying to snow and almost sunset. The snow much squishier from melting, but still there. Our forested trail is still not plowed out, so we walked the ugly horse trail. I think it is ugly, everything is the same color. There are no tall trees. She has fun sniffing there, because occasionally horses do walk there too. I have not seen any horse prints all week. I only saw one set of prints that were not ours all week. It is sad that no one gets out of their car to visit the state park. They do once in awhile park there, I see them or the car tracks.

At the pharmacy today, Ashly started to growl at the store. I was wondering what she was seeing. They have big pictures of peoples faces to cover the windows, so you can’t see inside. I kept looking, I could not see movement, or anyone nearby on the sidewalk. She stretched her head and looked serious growling more, almost barking. I told her not too worry we were leaving. I wonder if she saw something paranormal, those big people pictures have always been there. She has been with me to the same store many times. It could have just been a security window, because the person in front of me set off the alarm in the door. I was wearing my boots (because of the mud). I walk like half zombie half drunk in them. They are heavy to lift my paralyzed ankle without dragging my toe a bit. I then place my foot down crooked and adjust my balance with my “good” side. I swear every  time I wear my boots in different stores I hear them call for security. Even the grocery store, it does not help I stick my left arm in my pocket, and it is straight down like I am hiding something. I am trying to hide my arm from swinging every which way, possibly goosing someone. That would be my preferred stance, if all the customers were nice looking guys. There are all kinds of characters in any store.

Well,  I took the picture of the abandoned brick house on my way back from our dog outing yesterday. It was sunny, and perfect for all kinds of pictures. I see this house all the time. I wish I could get inside to look. I wish I was able to restore it, or tear it down and salvage all these bricks, the roof shingles, and the awesome corbels. Most people are strange to let these things go, they value lousy medical service, professional sports and Walmart more.