Emerson Quote ~ Fear


“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

So true with me, not even counting the fear of having another stroke. I vow to not give in to fear, but I am afraid it will not be totally conquered. I need to take baby steps like in the movie What About Bob. I also need to push myself and take leaps and bounds.

That being said, I feel like I am having another stroke right now. My left side of my head is , more numb, up higher, and I am freaking hot. It is maybe just too muggy here and I am stuck in my house. I was trying to clean up and was stressing and bitching for my son to do something to help.

Picnic Table from old Pipes

IMG_6998This was taken at a rest area. I am not sure if this is better than an all wood picnic table. I just like it is more industrial looking.

I washed the stinky dog yesterday. I used the special shampoo the vet talked me into giving up part of my monthly food budget for. She still smells like a dog. She does feels soft and silky. I think the non-scented and non-dyed generic shampoo works just as well. She gave an extra struggle to get up on the dog wash table. Then she had a face like she would rip my hand off when I sprayed her. She did not, of course, she still loves me. I think she secretly likes baths. I don’t know why she hates water.

Other chores I did yesterday were much easier. I took a bag of garbage to the dump with the recyclables. I still have garbage in my garbage cans, in smaller trash bags. I forgot to buy more big bags. I also forgot to take the boxes behind my shed. Other than that not much got accomplished on the home front. I spent too much time re-listing my ebay stuff,  and catching up with my soap online. I planned on taking a car load of donated items to the salvation army. Some are in my shed and it was too hot to hang around outside. More of the same weather today, but if there are no thunderstorms in the evening I might get some loaded into the car.

Looks like a fun job!


I took this pic at the locks. I am sure this job would be fun for a few hours, waiting for boats. The sun would bake me alive, and wearing a life vest must get hot when it is 90 degrees out. Another kind of man with uniform, and a long pole!.

I was brave and maybe stupid and signed up on a online dating site. I am 50, and never got my happily ever after. I never had happy ever, I had pyscho #1-3. Yes, that does sound like something is wrong with me. I have plenty wrong with me, but so does  everyone I know that ends up with dudes that cook, clean, and fix their car. I don’t even want that, just to go out once in awhile not by myself forever. Coming close to death makes you realize how short life is. I feel like so many opportunities already slipped by. Anyway, the first guy that wants to meet me is too redneck. His only hobbies listed are riding his 4 wheeler and motorcycle. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked if he had other hobbies. His reply, “wow, is there anything you do like?”  My reply yes the rest of the 999,999 things to do. He has three strikes against him before he has a chance. You might think I am harsh, but I had listed some 20 things I do like, and plan on adding more.




Life lesson, there is always something that looks cool but it is really waiting to chop you into little bits. My propeller has been my exes.  I am like a manatee, all scarred, but I keep swimming.

A Visit to Eisenhower Locks

I love visiting the St. Lawrence and watching boats. We waiting awhile for this tanker to enter, one hour past the estimated time. That left time for random pictures, talks with strangers, and family time. I am glad my son brought his binoculars. I keep forgetting, I can’t see as clear as I used to.

Pic My Son Took


This is the same lake as  yesterday’s post, a few days later. It is taken out the window of our car as we left town. I did not know there was going to be a regatta, or whatever reason for so many sailboats. I am glad I came home a day early. I still have jetlag from driving. I mowed half the front lawn and my son mowed the other half. If it does not rain tonight, he has to finish the rest tomorrow. I got a bit too much sun today, even wearing sunblock. I still have plenty of inside work to finish too. I remembered I had to pick up my scripts after I started a fire in the fire pit. It lit with one match, but it burned out quick too.

I dragged out my wheelchair to give away free. No one came to get it yet, so I will wheel it out by the road everyday until it is gone. I have a bunch of other things I want to get rid of or sell quick. Craigslist is slow around here. I am slow too, I need to get it out earlier in the morning. I also need to plan better to only work in the shade.

Pushing The Wrong Buttons

I just returned from my family visit. We did something different everyday. The day of our boat ride, on my Mother’s friends boat, I kept pushing the wrong settings on my camera. I took many pictures that are washed out or blurry. This one is not too bad. The water started out choppy on the lake. Halfway home, we had a beautiful sunset and smooth as glass water. My son also learned a few things about driving a boat.
Anyway, I am back home. My bucket garden is still alive. I only see a few tomatoes and jalepenos and flowers. I hope it stays warm enough long enough to get some green peppers and more tomatoes. We need to mow the lawn and finish unpacking. I spent too much time stressing over iphoto freezing up my computer. I was trying to get more things listed on Ebay. I guess I need to be outside while it is nice. I woke up early, too early. I am taking a nap before anything gets done. The sky is red and purple. Red in the morning, sailors warning.

Covered Bridge in Rural NY

IMG_7000This is what I encountered after missing my turn on my road trip. It is a few minutes or more outside of Ithaca, NY. I think the town was Newell or something like that, or something that started with P. I should have taken the pic of the rock next to this and the plaque that had the history of the bridge. I didn’t. I was late. I was tired and thought I know where it is now I could always go back later. Actually the bridge says Newfield on it, so that is most likely the town.

I also drove past Buttermilk Falls. I wanted to go back and take a picture of that, but again didn’t. There are plenty of falls within a half mile of my house, that I have yet trekked to see.

I will be going to my Mom’s for a week. I will visit with my sis and niece as well. My Mom wants to take a few day trips. I probably will have limited internet access, so will not post for about a week.