My Downward Spiral, Upon a Sinking Ship, Tumbling Down the Ravine

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This is just a generalized statement, mostly to one certain person, but to let everyone know my theory. I realize the rest of my life is screwed. I could win the biggest lotto and then pay for top notch therapy and gadgets to make my life better, but I am still fucked up….deep down. I can watch all the water leak out of the bucket knowing it is all going to be empty and do nothing. I can throw a plug in it or patch it. It might slow down enough so you can not see the water slowly oozing out. That water is going to leak out. I also have to choice to bitch and moan about the leaking or I can party and celebrate I will finally have a dry bucket.

I lived my first 50 years bitching and moaning and wallowing in pity, all that did was make sure I had a stroke along the way. I made the choice to do as much as I can from now on. It does not matter if that is right or wrong or more harmful to me. I am done being afraid of choices, I am taking the fun way out.

Today was a grey day, unlike the pic from last weekend

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It is nice and warm, but raining steady. I hope there is less snow because of the rain we are getting now. My lawn did not get mowed. My feet get soaked walking to the car. I vowed to fix that this year, but there are always too many things that come up.
My son set the pace of the day, vomitting and staying home from school. I have been feeling woozy, but I don’t have a stomach bug yet. I went out to get my son ginger ale and my dog some baby carrots for treats. She loves them. I love the fact I don’t have to bake them, just open the bag and hand them out. She let me eat half of one, then I thought she was going to eat my hand to get the other half. She usually is really gentle. I guess she did not want to share.
I got two different guys to message me on plenty of fish. I guess after mentioning how it sucked the other day, the computer spies tried to prove me wrong. Still a few messages and no real “date”.