This is just a generalized statement, mostly to one certain person, but to let everyone know my theory. I realize the rest of my life is screwed. I could win the biggest lotto and then pay for top notch therapy and gadgets to make my life better, but I am still fucked up….deep down. I can watch all the water leak out of the bucket knowing it is all going to be empty and do nothing. I can throw a plug in it or patch it. It might slow down enough so you can not see the water slowly oozing out. That water is going to leak out. I also have to choice to bitch and moan about the leaking or I can party and celebrate I will finally have a dry bucket.
I lived my first 50 years bitching and moaning and wallowing in pity, all that did was make sure I had a stroke along the way. I made the choice to do as much as I can from now on. It does not matter if that is right or wrong or more harmful to me. I am done being afraid of choices, I am taking the fun way out.