That is a state trooper parked outside in front of my house. (view through my door curtains, the brown house is vacant) They just happened to pull over someone for a traffic violation, rare that it happened on my “side” street. Not too long ago a 59 year old couple stood in front of a train in my town with the purpose of ending their “hopeless” life. The wife had recently had a few operations on her brain for aneurysms. I know you always can not tell when people can not take it anymore. These people had loving families. I think that hospitals and healthcare professionals need to educate patients and point them to help following a life changing surgery. It kind of hit close to home for me both literally happening in the same town that I live. It also was close to me figuratively as a stroke patient I have dealt with some of the life changing disappointments that permanent disabilities bring.
I find myself depressed more often in the Winter, even pre-stroke. I am dealing with my teenage son’s depression now. It is not easy to make others realize the pressure it puts on the caregiver. I have family and society stigma, dealing with different opinions and judgements of people that don’t have to see the suffering of the depressed on a daily basis. My son describes it as “hurting so much he does not want to be alive”. I can’t even fathom that pain. I question if he really is feeling pain, and if I am being played. This did not happen overnight. People do not wake up one day and decide they have had enough. I can not really say anymore, I am not an expert. I am just observing that depression sucks and I wish I knew how to take away everyones pain.