The old me would have been pissed off that my internet did not work for days. The new me was still pissed and frustrated, but I did not let it raise my blood pressure too much. I don’t have time for that. I am trying to let being positive and grateful run my life from now on.
It is not hard to be grateful to have survived a stroke. I hope to try harder at reducing my chance of having any more. Since I am grateful my internet is now working, and I have electricity and can still see I will try to work on adding items for sale on ebay. I am trying to be positive that I will sell enough to buy food, a tank of gas, pay down my credit cards, and spend some on fun things like my book club meeting, mini golf, and going out to dinner this month. I am also doing the Light the Night walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am grateful to everyone that already contributed and thinking positive that I will make it physically. I am hoping the weather is not going to be too extreme.
“A negative mind will not give you a positive life”, quote of an unknown author. I have recently posted this on my facebook wall. I also post other quotes and sayings that I find helpful to myself. Driving to an unknown address today of a garage sale I read about last night I lost my positivity. My internet was not working this morning and it has been slow and questionable for half a month. I had no way to verify my bank account to buy last minute school supplies for my son. I used a lottery ticket that won $15 to buy his dividers, then rode out looking for the garage sale. I was trying to conserve gas since the store is not nearby. I did not find the one from craigslist, but I saw a giant one and stopped on the way home. It had free clothes, my lucky day I thought. Everything was too small for me or too grungy. The miles of nicknacks looked like they were out all summer, I looked them over anyway. I spied a small chainsaw and asked the guy how much and if it ran. He said he only used it a few times and paid $125 for it so he wanted $75….I offered him $5. It was teeny tiny and I have seen them on sale for $80 new. So I headed home going a different way. I decided to turn at the sand plains sign I have seen so many times and only looked for once before. I still did not find it. I ended up driving past the lake with boaters and the lakeside town filled with casual strollers. I almost started to cry. That is the life I wanted. I could be on my boat right now. I could be meeting friends to walk around town or have pie, I drove home alone. I am positively sad.
I don’t want to stay sad. If I can’t be happy I might as well be grateful. I painted a little bit of my front porch and the screen door. The door will be purple to match my front door. The aluminum covers up too much of the front door’s purpleness. I checked the rain barrel, it is full already. It rained all night, but was not a heavy storm. I think I am going to need more barrels. I am so grateful to have one. I am grateful soon my door will be purple. I am grateful I can work on my Ebay today, it is too hot and muggy to work outside.