My Lack of Connections

So I went out to my meetup group event last night. We listened to a two man band sing old songs in a bowling alley bar. It was a whole group of two. It was suggested by another member who is retired and lonely. So lonely she cried on New Years. (not me I was with my granddaughter) I had one mixed drink, Rum and Coke, my first since my stroke. It tasted so strong and I felt the buzz halfway through the small plastic cup. I was sitting down and knew I would be eating, not having another and have a few hours before I drove home. That all worked out. I ate the disgusting crust, mushy cheese pizza with sausage that my friend wanted to share. I had no budget to spend on better alternatives there. It was my sacrifice to make my friend feel better.

I have not eaten pork or beef (and other mammals) in about 13 years, long before my strokes…I have a leather jacket I bought at goodwill…I eat cheese but do not drink milk, I have also consumed some sausage on pizza in social situations rather than starve…in these 13 years all people think my eating habits are “weird” except one guy I used to work with that did not eat pork or beef for semi religious reasons, and my son that was formerly vegan but no longer and my older daughter understood my reasoning…everyone else I gave up explaining that I don’t eat things that have as much intelligence and feelings as humans plus the ethical choice of trying not to use more than my share of the planets resources…I am an atheist as well…it has been very hard to connect to anyone that shares my views in the general public much less the smaller group of survivors.

The second paragraph I just copied and pasted from a post I put on facebook. I have had trouble making true friends throughout my 51 years here on Earth. I still have not figured it out. Be what you want to attract “they” say. By “they” I mean the self help guru quote mongers. I don’t want to be lonely at the same time I can’t digest being around a bunch of idiots. That being said I am supposed to meet with the guy I have been seeing today. I hope to see him to discuss where our “relationship” is headed. I have not even discussed my weird eating habits to any extent to him. Other guys just seem to not be able to understand my reasoning.

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3 thoughts on “My Lack of Connections

  1. How refreshingly honest! Maybe, with your help, some day, I can come to terms with my own place in the world now I am no longer “whole” myself! Thank you!

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