Throwback Thursday


It is not an old picture, but this roof has seen better days. I am not sure how long it takes the salty seawater to corrode the metal.

It does not take long for cold weather to corrode me. I have to go out to do laundry today. I need to clear out my mailbox, according to my mailman. My hand is already strained, and one handed shoveling makes it feel worse. I need to convince my lazy son to get out and help me. He has fallen asleep after school the last two days, so I don’t think he will be much help.

Counting Down The Days, To Next Payday


I will be babysitting all weekend for two neighbor boys. What was I thinking? I need to learn the word NO. Three boys playing video games, and all the annoying, tiring things I will have to do. Cooking and washing dishes will be the most challenging. I basically said yes because I saw dollar signs dancing in front of my face when my neighbor told me how much she was paying. I will be more looking forward to it being over, it also means this coldest snowiest month will be over. March could be even snowier. I know that, but the days are longer and there is much more hope that winter is over. It is warm and sunny in other parts of the world at the same time.

Well besides being closer to spring, the long awaited once a month social security check time will be here. I look forward to getting my hair cut and colored. I will finally join the gym. The heart walk is coming fast. Before I know it, it will be the 4th anniversary of my stroke. I don’t call it my rebirthday or anything, just a moment to pause and reflect that I made it one more year. The worst day of my life happened in March, but it is also my sister’s real birthday a day later.

One of my pipes froze yesterday. It was record cold windchill here. It warmed up quickly and did not burst. I feel so lucky compared to last year. Cars are like houses, so many things to take care of to keep it running.

I Have Decided To Train To Be A Snowbird


The first words I spoke this morning, as I opened the door to let my dog out, “Phuck it is snowing again”. It is already piled higher than I can lift a shovel one handed. I hate relying on a lazy teenager. I want to wake up and be able to take a morning stroll. I want to take an evening walk, or weekend hike. I don’t want to deal with snow for more than a minute.

I got the brilliant idea to start clearing out my house now of all the junk I never use or look at. I have the advantage of I have three years to accomplish this. I am making it my life goal, everything I own will fit in my car including my pets. I will most likely try to sell this place and try to live in an urban apartment part of the time. Then travel around the US in my homemade RV, made from a minivan. I will mix it up with stays at B & B’s or hotels as needed. It gives me something to dream about as I get buried in snow. I have already spent a few hours on pinterest, after not pinning for months. Pinterest is my idea board. I always forget my ideas.



“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

This pic was my favorite sculpture at the sculpture garden in New Orleans. I don’t know if you can see it but it is made of stainless steel letters. I admired it from afar before I could tell it was letters. I still don’t know if they are random, or if they spell out words or phrases.

I woke up too early this morning. My dog needed to go out. I looked at the clock wrong when I got back inside and thought it was much later. I am still lazy, but I have been taking less naps since my vacation. I am not sure if that is good or bad. I certainly look more tired and aged.

Not Going To Do The Food Journal Anymore


I suck at journaling…I suck at remembering. I did finish off the bag of grapes yesterday. I also had rice with broccoli, green peppers, onions, spaghetti sauce and a small can of tomato soup mixture. I hate tomato soup, but I did not want to waste it. Most of my cooking is throwing random things together. I will probably make pasta today, or something baked in the oven.

It is still very cold and windy here. I am going nuts, feeling shut in. I have been out the last two days, but only to the store or drop my son off. So cut off socially is more like it. I still have not made it to the casino about a mile away. I figure it is a warm place to walk around and explore. I have been spending way to much time looking at apartments on craigslist in warmer climates. I won’t be moving anytime soon, unless my house collapses from the weight of the snow. (that is just a joke, I hope) It is right now the highest snow accumulation since I moved here a few years ago. It is now over the seats of my outdoor chairs, drifts and roadside banks even higher.

I am surrounded by stuff I should be listing on ebay to get out of here. Tonight is auction night, but between the weather and sucky driving and the fact that I should not bring in another single item into this tiny house, I will remain home.

Cabin Fever


My pic is a sculpture from the The Sydney and Walda Besthoff Sculpture Gardens in New Orleans. It was free! It was excellent weather! I am no longer there, it has been below zero temps here. Record low temps, uggghhh. It has been sunny though, and my pipes have not frozen yet! I still have cabin fever, there is nothing close by to get away for awhile that is also FREE.

I will get out today to do laundry. I also have to drop off my son for a field trip. He gets to go out to dinner and a theatre show. I can not afford even a drive-thru dollar menu item. I have to save my few dollars to do more laundry and buy some healthy food for my son and I to last to next payday.

Yesterday I realized I ate a couple servings of cheddar I forgot to add to my food journal I posted. My food journal for yesterday. My plain tea, couple servings of cheddar and leftover chicken pieces for breakfast with orange juice. Snacked on an apple and a few too many honey wheat pretzels. I craved more snacking but was too lazy to make popcorn or wash the grapes. I finished my day with two tuna sandwiches with dill pickles on wheat bread. I had a lot of protein yesterday. Today, I am starting off with the grapes, cheddar, and tea.

Fat Ladies Food Journal


I weigh close to 200 pounds if not a pound or two more. It is more than I weighed when I had my stroke. I eat too much pizza, and too much in general. I don’t exercise enough. I always have an excuse not to walk around, mostly I feel awkward since I walk funny. I can not afford the gym, even though I say I need to join. I can not pay all my bills now. This is the worse time of year for bills. It has been below zero, I can hear my heat running almost all night. I am not going to turn my thermostat down from 70 degrees. I don’t want the horror of freezing pipes I had last year. I am trying to keep my teenage son’s morale up, not just my own. So, maybe writing down what I eat everyday will help. Maybe not, but it should not hurt.

Yesterday, I was kind of down from the cold weather and more snow, even though the sun was shining. I only made it out to my car and back to take my son to spend the money burning a hole in his pocket. He has a week off from school, so he needs to keep occupied. I made him shovel a path to the car, the end of the driveway (so we would make it out) and clear off and warm up the car. He did all of the above, that is like a miracle.

OK, I know I get sidetracked too easily. Yesterday, I started off like most days, with a large mug of tea. It had NOTHING added, no sugar or milk. I also had orange juice, I love it and feel I need the vitamins. I also had a peanut butter sandwich or sammich (as I call them). Just gobs of peanut butter, no jelly. I still have trouble spreading it basically one handed, so I gob it on….its yummy. Midday I had some plain tortilla chips with a little salsa. It was salty and messy, stupid skinny jar (don’t want to wash more dishes by pouring into a bowl) Dinner was rice with sodium free bouillon and some sodium free spaghetti sauce and frozen corn mixed in with a couple pieces of chicken tenders (very salty, but easy to heat and eat) I made the corn separate for my son, but he did not like it so I added it to mine. I also cooked the chicken tenders for him, he did not even try them. Sometime during the day I had left over homemade pizza. It was plain cheese.(made for my son a few weeks ago and frozen, he forgot about it) I believe this is all I had all day, but I forget things. I might have had an apple and or more juice.

I forgot to add another first


This is a pic of my pedicure later the same day…the polish is still going strong. I wish I could afford one every month or so. I can not even afford a haircut or getting my eyebrows done this month. It has been over a year since my hair was cut.

So I forgot to add to my list the other day, I finally took a bath. It was the first since my stroke. It was at the hotel tub, so it was kind of small and I could only soak my aching knees barely. I am hoping my tub at home is a bit bigger for a proper bubble bath, maybe later today I will try. It took me awhile to figure out how to get out of the tub. I just assumed if I can get up off the floor unassisted now I could get out of the tub. I was wrong! I need to get my knees folded under me first. The tub was too narrow at one end so I finally figured out I needed to turn around. Again, I am hoping my tub at home won’t have that problem. I might do a dry run first with my clothes on. That would be the smart way to try. I don’t always remember to be smart though.

My Week Of Firsts, and Checking Off the Bucket List


While I was away on vacation, I checked off some serious items from my bucket list. First of all I never, ever have been on a plane. Even before my stroke I was too scared of heights and had too many nightmares of plane crashes. I guess having the stroke made me realize how many times I have played it “safe” to no avail. I have to take chances to get different results, right? Anyway, my well traveled daughter wanted to take me on a cruise. I wanted to see some Central America countries and Mayan ruins. So she paid for both of us to getaway for a 7 day cruise. It was supposed to be to celebrate our 50th and 30th birthdays, but she became a mother instead so we waited until this year.

A list of my firsts: first time flying, first cruise, first professional pedicure, first time out of my country (not counting Canada since its so close and I spent much time there until I was 17), enjoyed stops in Mexico, Belize, and Honduras, saw some Mayan ruins, learned some Botany, learned some culture, saw real Manatees, saw real Sea Turtles, saw real Flamingos, floated down the man made partially underground river of Xcaret (this was a dream since I worked at Travelocity), floated underneath real bats sleeping in a cave, first time singing Karaoke in a semi crowded bar, first time seeing New Orleans and seeing some Mardis Gras parades, first tasting of collard greens and catfish, first time in a hot tub since my stroke (I spent some time in one the day I had my stroke at night, so thought it might have contributed)

So now my to dos on my bucket list are almost complete, the hardest part of being on a tropical vacation in the middle of winter is coming home to snow storm after snow storm….it makes me yearn to be a snowbird even more