Tired, Tired, Tired


I met a guy from POF last night. I am overwhelmed with information, new ideas, just unexpected things. My stroke brain in overwhelmed. It would have been just simply meeting a new person to anyone else. I already had a walk in a botanical garden planned for today. When he asked if I wanted to hang out with him today, he might of thought I was trying to make up excuses not to.

When I got to the botanical garden, my camera was not acting correctly. I hope it is not broken. I saw a bunch of Monarchs in a butterfly house. They had many of the same perennials I have in my garden already. We also went inside the cooperative extension building to see a beehive behind glass. It was cool how they had a pipe so they could fly in and out of the building.

Outside while talking to my friend in the parking lot, I got a wave of nausea. I left soon after for home. I still did not feel well so I tried to take a nap. I became very hungry since I did not eat anything all day. I took my son for ice cream. We have not been in a long time. After that I rested up with the intention to go to the auction tonight. I was not feeling 100% so I decided to stay home. Money saved to do something else before the next payday. I also had time to bring the laundry in off the line. I hope to get a few more small jobs done inside the house before retreating back to bed to read my book for the book club.

Shine On The Shack


This pic is from a road trip, not a building I own.

I have had my old lawnmower listed for sale on craigslist for weeks now. I finally got one person interested and they are supposed to come look at it today. I hope they want it as much as I want it out of my shed and my life. I have talked before about my struggle to mow my 1/4 acre lawn with one functional arm. It is not just the lack of coordination that works against me, it is a compilation of many things. The morning dew, the soggy swamp after rain, the lack of daylight, the onslaught of mosquitos, my lazy teenage son, my bad memory, my guilt of running over frogs and snakes all contribute to my lawn related mental stress. I have been paying someone to mow it once per week. Of course this is almost financially impossible for someone on disability, but it is happening.

I need the lawnmower to sell. I need the financial gain it’s true, but I also need space in my shed. My daughter recently came to spend a week with me and she worked on clearing out and improving my shed. It has been a long time coming. We took trash away, we took bags to donate, and we gave away stuff for free on my lawn. I need this positivity to come back to me. I woke up this early sprinkly morning to get the lawnmower out and plug it in to charge. I forgot to do it yesterday. (stroke memory) I need it to charge enough that the buyer will want it. Selling this will clear square footage in my shed. It will also clear guilt and the weight of a bad decision from my brain. So many bad decisions, so little time to correct them….lol.

I also need the gas money from the lawnmower sale to provide gas funds to donate two bags of my household items to a charity garage sale. I need gas money to take all my trash away, as well as pay the $2 per bag. I am trying to purge the projects that I realize will never get done out of my life. This will help improve my other shack I call home. So many improvements to make, so little time or money. I played a $2 Powerball ticket yesterday. It was not my lucky day, I did not even match one number. That $2 would have helped buy ice cream or dispose of a bag of trash.

I have been thinking a lot lately about accepting help from others. It is another way for the Universe to smile on everyone. We should help each other anyway we can. It can be as simple as sharing a laugh, hitting the like button, or taking the time to say hello. Hello World….to be continued.

Yesterday was National Dog Day. I shared my watermelon with Ash (as everytime I have it myself). She loves her melon. Ash also slept with her boy on the couch most of the day, after waking me up early to let her out. We snuggled at night in my bed, as usual. She has the life of leisure. I did not feel compelled to take her pic, or share one I have done previously. I feel grateful for her so often, she is truly one of my soulmates.

Stop In For Some Grub


I love these few places still hanging out from the recent past. I did not go inside this diner, yet. I wish there was one closer to me that was open 24/7.

I reverted to my snarky self on plenty of fish. A guy who has messaged back and forth a few times also indicated he wanted to meet me. He has answered several of my questions with lengthy paragraphs (a plus). Just like most other guys, he has yet set up a time and place to get together. Here is a clue to all single people that try to meet people online, you actually have to meet in person someday if you want a relationship. I don’t want to waste another minute. I am done playing games, either you want to meet or you don’t.

I am now back in my imaginary relationship in my mind. I am treated right and no one questions my choice of vegetarian low salt diet. I don’t need to be impressed to feel adored.

I Have Been Too Tired To Post


This is my brother and sis in law’s chiweenie, taking a rest.

I was watching my granddaughter all week as she destroyed my house. I drove a ton, which is tiring in itself. I am trying to keep up with my Ebay, selling more items, but for less money. I have also just been trying to keep myself showered, dressed, and sane. I have been so tired that I have only been able to read a couple pages of my book.

Sometimes I need to push through the fatigue, but sometimes the fatigue leaves me brainless, unable to talk right. I was mispronouncing all kinds of words.

Today, I am chipping away at housework, dishes, vacuuming, and catching up with errands. It will take more than just today to catch up.

I Love America


I love American kitsch. A normal gas station with a fun sign in rural NY State.

There is beautiful sights and land everywhere. There is also beauty in urban decay. Architecture both modern and pre-colonial that stands the test of time is beauty to me. I also like nature, clouds, sunshine, green growth, water, landscapes, animals, and the list goes on. It is a great thing to be alive and be grateful for all we can see and do. I am grateful to be a free independent woman living in America.

It was my birthday the other day. I am so happy to be alive everyday. It can be a good day or bad day, but it is a day! I spent the day with my granddaughter, I get to enjoy her playing in my rain bucket and her terrible two temper tantrums (even though she is not quite two yet). I took my son to a baseball game. I had another wonderful beach day. I did get knocked over and almost drowned by the big waves. I had to ask a stranger I was knocked into to help walk me back onto shore. I had a hard time balancing with the wave and undertow energy. It was extremely hard for me to stand upright even between waves.

It is still the weekend but today will be filled with cleaning and trying to get rid of some free stuff through craigslist. It is nice out again. I love summer. I have had several white butterflies in my yard, and I saw one yellow one. Next year I hope to have some milkweed and other butterfly attracting plants and water feature.

Enjoying Summer


Since I have been going to so many (for me) meetup group events lately, I can not find time to clean. Cleaning and organizing have never been my favorite thing. It is true, if I did not drag home anything from the auction, the only thing I would have to organize is my junk mail. I can not seem to just toss it into the recycling bin as soon as I come in the door. I bought a new shower chair, since my broken one was becoming more of a hazard to me than a safety feature. Now, what am I supposed to do with the spare parts?

My birthday is this Friday. My only plans originally were to take my son out for ice cream. Now we are going to a baseball game as well. Followed by another beach day, I will only have less than one day to recover until my granddaughter will be here. She will point out everything I missed while cleaning. She will also alert me to all the hazards in my home

I also need to clean my car out. I am supposed to pick up my friend from the airport Thursday. I have nose prints on every window. The car seats are muddied from dog prints. Usually my car stinks too. I use my car like a truck, to haul garbage to the recycling center and to haul straw (not yet but soon).

My neck hurt the worst before going to sleep last night. It feels almost 100% better this morning. I guess I should get back to doing daily shoulder shrugs and other post stroke exercises

No Nukes, What A Bad Idea


WTF can ruin a pretty picture faster than anything? A cooling tower from the nuclear power plant. I hope we are shutting these down, and at least not building any new ones ever anywhere in the world. We don’t have to worry about bird flu wiping out humans, when we should worry about humans wiping out every living thing that took eons to evolve. I am sorry, I did not want this post to be such a downer.

Some good things are happening in the world. I have one ripe tomato in my bucket garden. I guess I should call my garden the snack garden. I don’t have enough for a meal, let alone to preserve for the winter. I always say next year, but this year I mean it. I won’t have to worry about septic line placements.

I went to visit my kids and pick up the youngest to come back home. My neck hurts again from driving. I think it might be my one arm placement on the steering wheel. It could just be the way my seat is positioned too. It never hurt my neck before while driving, not this much.

Out of Focus


My pics are more like this now. I can blame my camera setting, my poor eyesight or my shaky hand. It is most likely a combination of all three.

I woke up twice today which is typical. The first an early morning pee stumble and sway to the bathroom. I am lucky my walls hold me up when I grab for them. This is followed by letting the dog out. It was cold this morning as I sat barefoot on the porch. We both came back in and she followed me back to bed. I had some crazy dreams. I tried to think of what I ate the night before, so I could dream more often. It was brussel sprouts. It could have been the chocolate pie with whip cream I had at the auction. I don’t have either in my house. The package of brussel sprouts is a single serving for me, and snack for Ashley because she goes crazy and begs for them. Another reason she is perfect for me, she is a fruit and veggie loving dog.

I have been puttering for a few hours since my second awakening. I still feel out of focus. I bought too much stuff at the auction. I should have just sat there and bought nothing except the piece of chocolate pie. I have so much to clean up today. Dishes to wash, vacuuming, laundry, and watering my garden. I should go to the store as I am out of bread, soup and cheese but I have not even showered yet. I want to make veggie burgers, but would like some cheese and bread or rolls to eat them on. I also need some food in the house my son will eat, he will be back Monday.

Meet Luna


This is a bad angle of her, she is so much prettier when you see her neck tufts and full tale, and no glare from the flash.

I did not name her. I would have named her sparkles or emerald. I think she is part Norwegian from the pictures I saw online. Her previous owner said Russian, but I could not find Russian breeds that looked like her. She has tufts on her feet too. This is the first cat I have ever seen with tufted feet. It is cute, but it drags the litter out of the box.

Luna does this neat thing I call fist bumping. I make a fist, Luna bumps it with her head. She seems to enjoy it and does it over and over. When she first did it I was not expecting it and laughed. My bad arm was dangling and my hand was naturally curled up. She came right over to bump. A cat person told me that is her way of saying hello. She says it very loudly.



I was always a little wild, untamed. That does not mean I was ever loud and obnoxious. The wildest thing about me right now is probably my hair, followed closely by my fingernails. Both of these are a result from lack of steady grooming. I lost my ability post stroke. I just bought myself new hair ties today. I will attempt to make a ponytail until it becomes easy for me. I can come out my hair always could because I can use my dominant hand. I can not trim my own hair between haircuts. I have not been able to put my hair up yet.

I went to trivia night tonight. Always guaranteed to have a few laughs. I met two new people. They were both women. Big sigh. Where do all the single guys hide out? Tomorrow I am going to go to another party on the patio. It is supposed to be nice out. Right now, I don’t have a clue what I am going to wear.