When Brandy walked in my door tonight…
The tears flowed…I drove as fast as possible to the vet. I got there to walk in a waiting room full of people with happy fat dogs…and cats…
People who were laughing.. there with their families..
I sat there holding this sick emaciated…weak body……feeling her every bone…
And the emotions started …how very alone she must feel……with all those happy people with their well cared for pets….
I think about what this girl has gone through over the last 3-4 months…what her life has been…now she is sitting with a stranger in a strange place…not having any idea what is coming…if I am going to hurt her…feed her…yell at her…or just hold her and sob…
She has no idea…I will make damn sure no one hurts her again…
My heart breaksfor this gentle soul…for this baby …who has had no friend…no one to love her hold her….as I drive away and leave her at vet…the tears come with a vengeance…the pain of these animals is unreal sometimes…
And I race..because mine at home need me…so I fly there in out in out feed…then go to the kennel where they are all fed…most walked…some getting a little porky.,.and as I touch each one for sugar time..and walks…I look into their eyes…for all the pain…they feel…I see the fear…I see the wonder at each new stranger who approaches…
I see the hunger they have felt…the fear…the pain…and my heart breaks one more time…
I sit with my hugger Baxter… and just hold him…give him his reassurance…that he will be okay…
I remember the days Missy was like that…Sampson and Elmo too….
I think about Bentley and dusty….and my little bella….
I think about juno coming in trying to snag my hand..
George completely shut down until I sang George of the jungle to him…
And sooo many more…
I think about Lainey…and all we have lost and all we have saved…and the battles…and the wars….and the fights…
I give him a final squeeze…and move on to the next
…praying I have the strength to fight another day….and for many years to come…I have the strength to inspire people to stand tall and strong against these… atrocities….
And as they are settled all down in their beds…
I close the door saying goodnight to go home to the other crew…
I walk in the door they are silent…but ready to go out and play…the energy is not there…for me.tonight…brandy has zapped my strength and energy…and taken a chip out of my heart…
Then Missy gives me her whoo whoo whooo.saykng suck it up. Buttercup …it ain’t our fault…time to shake that booty with us outside…
And the balls fly…the toys get thrown…and the coffee pot is a brewing….because….
There is no other choice…
That is the answer….as I question where the hell I am going to find the strength to fight for the brandies….of the world….the Bentleys the logans…
The answer is …..there simply is no other choice….
So we hug a little tighter…squeeze a little harder…cry them tears….and continue to put one foot in front of the other….
This isn’t for anyone else but me really……because hopefully in a year.when this memory pops up….
..the need for this will have diminished…
Hopefully we find a way to get better…
Hopefully …….
This one needs help w food
This one needs an apartment
This one needs help w a biting dog
This one needs help with a project for work
This one needs helo with a veteran
This one needs help with prescriptions
This one needs dog food
This one needs boarding
This one needs help with their child
This one needs help with an abusive partner
This one needs to just talk
This one is sad
This one is grieving
This one needs help w his wife
This one needs help with dog food
This one needs a vet who will see their dog who is nuts
This one needs gas money for work
This one needs to go to a na meeting but is scared..
This one needs…someone to hold their bite hold
This one needs someone to support them..they are alone .
This one has a dog that to gonna die and they are devastated
This one’s dog killed another dog. .and doesn’t know what to do
Letters need to be written
Grants researched ..
The amount of pain in this community is sometimes overwhelming…
But I took every call spoke with every person and still got to do my dogs…
It has been a long day …and my brain is fried. .
I am grateful I can put some good in the world to counteract the pain ..the evil the darkness . .
You never have to look hard to be able to make another person’s day …better…
Last year this would have overwhelmed me…
Today I felt blessed beyond belief…that with my network of friends….WE were able to make things better…for some…and provide support for others..and make a positive impact on lives…
What a difference a year makes…
Instead of people asking for help feeling like a burden I must bear…I truly feel honored to have found my niche in this world…I am a vessel …a tool….used by whatever powers that be…to connect…those who need to be connected…to be able to get the help they need…be it k-9 or human.
In Sync With The Universe 