There was still snow on the walking trails

I took this pic on Friday at Robert H. Treman NY State Park. You can see things have not greened up yet. I need to start walking everyday to save my life. I gained even more pounds. I got to my all time high again, then added 20 on top of that. Sometimes I feel like my heart will just fail. I get my 2nd Pfizer vaccine tomorrow. I will then have zero excuses in a couple weeks to not take a walk. I do hope the snow melts so I can walk in nature though.

Other plans for a few weeks after my second vaccine: Visit my mom who turned 80 in January, maybe take her shopping and out to lunch or dinner. Go thrift shopping for treasures to sell on ebay. My last thrift purchase was online. I did buy some auction items online and picked them up in person. I still have dozens of items to list, not including the hundreds of postcards I need to list.

I am trying to avoid working for others and just try to ramp up my sales to pay off my credit card and car loan. I have not saved anything since getting the new to me car and having car payments again.

Other things on my mind are trying to set up a youtube channel for stroke survivors…this will require me learning quite a few new to me things.

I can not post with Chrome, Here I am on Edge

I have no idea why, or what I am doing…I have not posted in a long time, so memories of how I did it before are gone.

Luna Minerva, she makes me even slower at getting stuff done. “Free cat hair with every purchase” I am going to add to my ebay listings…I am up to 404 now on 4 different accounts. My sales are still pretty sad, I sold one postcard this weekend. Divide that sale by the hours I spent taking pics and scanning postcards and listing, then my hourly profit is about 5 cents an hour.

Joe and Kamala WON

Yeah, I am late posting about it. I have neglected my blog as I spent too much time on twitter and binge watching netflix to escape reality. I hope non of my readers are brainwashed into thinking trump is in anyway good for anything.

Kamala was my first choice for president. After watching Joe speak a few times about the work he is doing, I believe he is highly qualified to take the reins and steer us back into progress.

I have had one hair cut since covid. I have not put makeup on all year. I hope I can get back into taking better care of myself and put my best face forward from now on.

Words from Kim Strong. RIP…this was from about a year ago, earlier this year she committed suicide.

When Brandy walked in my door tonight…

The tears flowed…I drove as fast as possible to the vet. I got there to walk in a waiting room full of people with happy fat dogs…and cats…

People who were laughing.. there with their families..

I sat there holding this sick emaciated…weak body……feeling her every bone…

And the emotions started …how very alone she must feel……with all those happy people with their well cared for pets….

I think about what this girl has gone through over the last 3-4 months…what her life has been…now she is sitting with a stranger in a strange place…not having any idea what is coming…if I am going to hurt her…feed her…yell at her…or just hold her and sob…

She has no idea…I will make damn sure no one hurts her again…

My heart breaksfor this gentle soul…for this baby …who has had no friend…no one to love her hold her….as I drive away and leave her at vet…the tears come with a vengeance…the pain of these animals is unreal sometimes…

And I race..because mine at home need me…so I fly there in out in out feed…then go to the kennel where they are all fed…most walked…some getting a little porky.,.and as I touch each one for sugar time..and walks…I look into their eyes…for all the pain…they feel…I see the fear…I see the wonder at each new stranger who approaches…

I see the hunger they have felt…the fear…the pain…and my heart breaks one more time…

I sit with my hugger Baxter… and just hold him…give him his reassurance…that he will be okay…

I remember the days Missy was like that…Sampson and Elmo too….

I think about Bentley and dusty….and my little bella….

I think about juno coming in trying to snag my hand..

George completely shut down until I sang George of the jungle to him…

And sooo many more…

I think about Lainey…and all we have lost and all we have saved…and the battles…and the wars….and the fights…

I give him a final squeeze…and move on to the next
…praying I have the strength to fight another day….and for many years to come…I have the strength to inspire people to stand tall and strong against these… atrocities….

And as they are settled all down in their beds…

I close the door saying goodnight to go home to the other crew…

I walk in the door they are silent…but ready to go out and play…the energy is not there…for me.tonight…brandy has zapped my strength and energy…and taken a chip out of my heart…

Then Missy gives me her whoo whoo whooo.saykng suck it up. Buttercup …it ain’t our fault…time to shake that booty with us outside…

And the balls fly…the toys get thrown…and the coffee pot is a brewing….because….

There is no other choice…

That is the answer….as I question where the hell I am going to find the strength to fight for the brandies….of the world….the Bentleys the logans…

The answer is …..there simply is no other choice….

So we hug a little tighter…squeeze a little harder…cry them tears….and continue to put one foot in front of the other….

This isn’t for anyone else but me really……because hopefully in a year.when this memory pops up….

..the need for this will have diminished…

Hopefully we find a way to get better…

Hopefully …….

This one needs help w food
This one needs an apartment
This one needs help w a biting dog
This one needs help with a project for work
This one needs helo with a veteran 
This one needs help with prescriptions
This one needs dog food
This one needs boarding
This one needs help with their child
This one needs help with an abusive partner
This one needs to just talk
This one is sad
This one is grieving
This one needs help w his wife
This one needs help with dog food
This one needs a vet who will see their dog who is nuts
This one needs gas money for work
This one needs to go to a na meeting but is scared..
This one needs…someone to hold their bite hold
This one needs someone to support them..they are alone .
This one has a dog that to gonna die and they are devastated
This one’s dog killed another dog. .and doesn’t know what to do
Letters need to be written
Grants researched ..

The amount of pain in this community is sometimes overwhelming…

But I took every call spoke with every person and still got to do my dogs…

It has been a long day …and my brain is fried. .

I am grateful I can put some good in the world to counteract the pain ..the evil the darkness . .

You never have to look hard to be able to make another person’s day …better…

Last year this would have overwhelmed me…
Today I felt blessed beyond belief…that with my network of friends….WE were able to make things better…for some…and provide support for others..and make a positive impact on lives…

What a difference a year makes…

Instead of people asking for help feeling like a burden I must bear…I truly feel honored to have found my niche in this world…I am a vessel …a tool….used by whatever powers that be…to connect…those who need to be connected…to be able to get the help they need…be it k-9 or human.

My New To Me Car

I had to get a new to me car back in January-February. My old Kia would not pass inspection and was going to cost thousands to fix with no guarantee that what was left would not rust out and break down too.

Meet the new to me Kia, I call her Dory, I just keep swimming despite setbacks. I finally have a car in my favorite color blue, yet there are many other shades of blue I like better, I kept with the same make and model to not overload my stroke brain while driving.

I am driving less during covid, trying to avoid other’s especially ignorant people that do not know how easy it spreads and those who do not care how vulnerable to dying I am.

Happy 420 Day


It is illegal to recreationally smoke in my state, so here is a pic of algae? or some other green slime growing in a drainage ditch.

Several presidential candidates propose to make it federally legal and expunge the records of those already incarcerated for marijuana charges. I would smoke with Kamala Harris, she is one who has many good ideas as president.

Pretty Awesome Sky On A Tragic Day


The world lost most of Notre Dame as it burned and the spire collapsed through the roof, also Monday The actress that played “Georgette” on the Mary Tyler Moore show died, she was only 70.

I replaced the suet in the bird feeder I hung on my neighbors hook. I looked outside several more times and saw a HUGE woodchuck. I thought about getting my camera to take a picture of him, then decided not to. I looked out one more time and saw how awesome the colors were in the sky. I did not get my camera out quick enough and walk outside quick enough most of the color was gone (well over half) but I did capture this.

Out of view the lower leaves of brambles and small bushes are greening up as they come out. The tall trees still look bare.

I feel better, even though nothing has improved

IMG_7524 (2)

I saw horses on my walk on the rail trail…I had to zoom in because they were on the far end of the fenced in area…they kept walking behind the buildings so this is the best pic I could get. I only walked one day even though the weather was nice several days. I am trying to walk more often since I weigh the most ever in my life and I can not buy new clothes…my jeans are tight, maybe that is why I opted to stay in my pajamas all day one day last week.

I was locked out of twitter


This is an old pic, I recently had my hard drive replaced and have yet to install a place to download my photos from my camera.

So twitter said I was being abusive to trump for this tweet: @realDonaldTrump I can not take any more of this…I can only hope you drop dead soon before I do…I just want to cry myself to sleep thinking about all the rotten miserable things you have done…the people that suffer because of @GOP…the statue of liberty is not proud, the flag upsidedown

I am locked out unless they favorably review my appeal…I guess he can only torture the world and we have to take it in silence. F*ck him and his supporters and the whole GOP for aiding and abetting the MONSTER….yes if you support him F*ck you too! I can not take the nonsense any more.

I can not get a drive downloaded to run my printer, or I downloaded it 4 times but it is not recognizing it…I also have not figured out wordpress as to why I can no longer tag my posts…the world goes on without me…I am not adding to it, I am not helping anyone, I am not saving enough for my future and the cost of everything I need is going up, I feel helpless…I searched for jobs I may be able to do part time and I can not find any I could do…my ebay sales are tanking and have been the last few years….I was not motivated to get out of my pajamas today and it was sunny out