Who Am I?


Vintage owl, pic taken in Newport, RI.

I am alone with my thoughts, just me, myself, and I. Then there is also Asher Dashers my dog, and Luna the scaredy cat. So as I was saying I am alone with my thoughts most of the time. I have some chats on facebook. A email here and there, or a phone call a couple times a month at most is my only contact with the rest of the adult world since my stroke. I have been trying hard to make new friends with the singles meetup group. I run out of money to drive towards Syracuse as frequently as they want to get together. I am trying, giving it most of my attention lately since at the end of the day alone is what I feel most.

My pain in my neck has turned to soreness and is a bit less today. I have been swelling a bit from the heat. Even on my good side my ring was stuck on as I painfully tried to twist it off. I have been feeling brain dead too. Most likely a result of too much newness with the drive to get the new cat.

I lured the very timid cat out from under my son’s bed where she has been hiding. I used her feather toy. She was very curious. She let me pet her for a few minutes. She explored to the other side of the room. I moved her food and water bowls into there. She would not go past the doorway, she ran back under the bed. I am letting her get acclimated in her own time. I hope she ventures out by tomorrow though. I am going to try to interact with her again tonight. I am trying not to make any loud scary noises. Today there was the loud garbage trucks, and other loud construction and traffic noise.

I am going to take the dog outside, even though she is peacefully snoring on the couch now. She can watch me water the plants and clean up her poo. I might then take her for a short drive, so she can work out her sniffer. Then I will put her in the bedroom as I try to interact with the cat. That will be pretty much all I accomplished today. I also showered and went to the local store.


When One Door Opens


Close the damn door. Or is it, When one door closes open the damn door. Anyhow I stumbled into a revolving door. The guy that dumped me contacted me and asked if I wanted to meet him for a drink. Weirdos have been coming out of the woodwork leaving messages for me on plenty of fish. The one I am glad that got away has been making me thankful after he posts his whining for random stuff on fb. With this and more swirling in my head as I was driving to trivia night, tears started to fall. I realized I have made bad choices in the past and I am not much better at making them now. I am a bad combo of naive, suspicious, and impatient.

Despite my philosophical drive, I had a good time at trivia. I laughed, I contributed, I lingered and was the last of my group out. I wish the good times could last longer. I wish I knew how to make it so. I don’t know my superpower. I had to stop and buy toothpaste on the way home. I also picked up a 6 pack of snack sized candy bars. It was my full intention to eat them all at once. I only had three and think I will leave the rest for the future. It might be the middle of the night or the middle of next weekend.

In other news, I picked up some dog food and picked up the book at the library for my next book club meeting. I brought in the laundry left on the line overnight. I did not water my garden. I had a needy pit bull when I got home and did not have the heart to leave her one more time today. She even knocked over my computer monitor trying to get my attention. I don’t think I am going anywhere tomorrow.