It Is January Still

frozen lake

The days are getting longer, yay! It is still not enough to make the roads walkable (to my partially disabled self). They are brown slippery mush, so if I fall I will be dirty and frozen as well as hurting. I really wanted to walk around the yard instead, but I can’t bring myself to bear even a chill. I am really grateful this winter is warmer and less snowy than normal, otherwise a full blown depression would set in.

In keeping me guessing what makes my blood pressure high, it has been normal the last two days. 117/77 is very low for me, I have been not eating as well as I should either. I had cookies while waiting for dinner yesterday. I skipped lunch today, since I finished breakfast at 1PM.

Hopefully, tomorrow I get back on track. At the very least I have therapy and walking at the school.


enough for all

So unoriginal, but I am beyond tired. I might actually go to sleep before 2AM tonight. I first must do my online research of various things that pop into my head. Tomorrow we will have chicken for dinner. I want to attempt my chicken pineapple pizza again for Monday. I want to look up homemade BBQ sauce recipes, mine needs to be low sodium. I thought that would give my pizza some extra flavor. I still have to have my base of red sauce (or to me, it is not pizza).

This Is My 100th Post (But Nothing Special Posted)

it says "friends?"

It does not take much to get me wiped out since the stroke. It might be I won’t drink any caffeine to help me through the day anymore. The day of my stroke I had too much caffeine. I was on vacation, I did not want to miss out on fun from being tired. Even though it is not anything the doctors even ask about, I think it contributed to my other serious stroke risk factors. The only other factors were my lack of physical exercise and family history. My Grand mother had several strokes and died young from a stroke. I never got to meet her, only through pictures and stories.

Going back to being wiped out easily, last night set me back one day. My son was sick all night. I was on clean up duty. I had to keep remembering I could not walk fast. Every time I tried to get up and turn the light on my ankle twisted. I am usually very careful when I first get up, knowing I need to get my “sea legs”. I was supposed to go to therapy in the morning. I finally cancelled when I realized my son was not better yet. I did not want to leave him alone for a few hours while I went. I was still feeling a bit off when it came time to go walking even though I did get in an extra nap. I was never really sure if I felt off from the lack of sleep or that I was getting ill too. So far I still have the iron stomach. My son felt better enough in the evening to finally eat one piece of toast and pick up his iPod.

All I can do is accept the fact I won’t be superwoman anytime soon. There will be days when I only get out of the house to run to the mini mart for overpriced ginger ale. If I am too tired, it is better I rest so I don’t fall and break an arm or leg. I just hope it does not have to be this way forever. Ten months already feels like forever. I am just happy it was not ten months six feet under.

I Walked Today

blue sky through the trees

Finally got in the school to walk around. I did 3/4 mile. It does not sound like much, but if you could see how slow I am. The seniors fly by. Power walkers flew by all of us, and I was the turtle. I could have kept walking, but Mom was waiting with her friend. My foot kept dragging more often towards the end, so I made it the end time before I tripped myself up. I have both therapy appointments tomorrow. My son was sick tonight, so not sure if he will make it to school tomorrow.

Should have Hibernated

gulpThe cold is wearing me down fast. With the wood stove off, I feel a draft sitting at the computer. I sit with a blanket wrapped around me, I am still cold. I can’t get up and move around, everyone else is asleep. My son needs lots of sleep, minimum of 9-10 hours per day, to function as a well adjusted human. Without the sleep, he snaps, or ends up crying about simple homework. My mother always went to sleep early, and won’t change for nothing. Not even to join friends for a later movie. It’s her prerogative. Her house has paper thin walls. More like fake wood thin paneling. Whatever they are made of, I sound loud just walking around. So I try to stay quiet, not to wake either one of them. After my stroke, I require lots more sleep. I am not sure if it is all the scripts I now take, or just my brain trying to heal. It most likely is a combination of both. I am wide awake from 9PM-2AM however, but the rest of this sleepy town is closed down. Heck, they were closed by 6PM. I drove to the school to walk around. I could not get in. I was slightly pissed, another missed opportunity. I will be forever fat. Anyhow, driving back home, I was on the lookout for a diversion to stop and spend a few minutes. There was nothing interesting open. The library now closes early, winter hours. The bookstore, always looks closed. The building it is in for sale, so not sure if they have the bookstore signs all over town for nothing. There was hardly a car on the street, no wonder where would they go? My only choices were one bar, too tempting to make my regular stop. The Rite Aid, already went there today. The grocery store, already went several times this week, but too small and uninteresting to browse. I left my camera home. So driving through this cold wasteland, my only thoughts that seemed pleasant was to curl up under a comforter and take a long winter’s nap. It did not happen, but should have.

I only have my therapy sessions, and home electric shock sessions as physical activity for today. I hope it does not stay this cold for the rest of winter, I am lazy enough already.

Brrrrrrr -5 degrees Here Already

snowstorm a few years ago

It was not very much warmer during the day today. I think it got up to 10 degrees. It was sunny! So I finally ventured out and chiseled off my car windows. I don’t have a car starter, so I have to open the driver side door to start it up. Every time I open the door, the snow falls right into the driver’s seat. I thought my hand was frost bit by the time I was done and came in to warm up. I had a glove on, so my fingers are still intact. I was glad I finally wore my winter coat for the season.

I made a second trip later on to walk around the school. I was so glad for a warm place to walk. I remembered my pedometer this time. It has to be wrong, I walked over 1/2 mile and it said I walked 177 steps. I guess I need to put it on my shoe instead of in my pocket. My resolution to eat more raw foods is not happening immediately. I did only have a banana for lunch. I had a handful of baby carrots while waiting for dinner. I then put lettuce on my (fake veggie) cheese sandwich. I also had pears for dinner, but I don’t know if they qualify as raw. They were from a can, therefore “processed”. My breakfast cereal, shredded mini wheats, is definitely not raw. I am not giving up my easy breakfast for anything except oatmeal. Oatmeal is not raw either so breakfast will remain in part of my 50 % non raw allowance.

I have to venture out tomorrow, I have a therapy appointment. I hope it warms up, so I can get my camera out for some new pictures.

New Years Day With Sun!

archways, keystones, iron fences, oh my

The sun was shining today, and it was warm for January 1st, about 40 degrees here. I slept in, like always. By the time I did my electric shock therapy, ate, showered and got ready to go out in the world for the first time this year it turned into dark skies. It was not because it was night time, it was the bad weather waiting to roll in. I thought it very depressing and put off the walk I was going to take. I did not take my camera out, I have enough gray pictures. I dutiful made my errand to the store then came right back. I was out of soy milk, and since it is not a popular item around these parts, i had to reach to the back of the shelf to not get a carton that expired in two days. That was even more depressing. Good thing I am not dwelling on the negative. I did make dinner for my son and myself. We had ravioli and french fries, and I had left over haddock on a sandwich. It was not the superstitious black eyed peas (not my favorite). I was thinking of making a crock pot of kidney beans (my favorite), but my son does not care for them (yet, until I starve him until he eats them).  Anyway, I was yearning for the french fries for awhile. I actually would love homemade potato wedges, but have not perfected my one handed knife skills.

With the dark skies and my lack of taking walks outside on the icy roads, cabin fever has set in. I will be glad when my son is back in school, and my Mom gets back to her routine of visiting with friends. The walls close in faster on me when I have no alone time. I decided I will be sitting in my car tomorrow, parked somewhere I can be alone with my thoughts. I actually like to drive around, but my budget does not allow for weekly fill ups. I would also feel guilty for adding more co2 into  the already too gray skies.