Goodbye 2011

Montage Mountain PA

I had occupational therapy today. She is going to continue seeing me, regardless of what my insurance decides. That was great news for me. She showed me how to hook up my shoulder to the empi (electrical stimulation, I jokingly call electrocution). She said I was showing good improvement with my wrist and other exercises. That encourages me to work out more. I wish the OT therapists that filled in for her on maternity leave (when I first started here in NY) had the same attitude.

I need to think of something to get out of here tomorrow, just during the afternoon. Tomorrow morning is supposed to be an icy mess. I won’t be going out for New Years Eve.  I will probably let my son stay up, I have in the past. That leaves the afternoon free to drag my son out into the real world and away from his video games and epic lego battle set ups. He usually complains about being dragged away. Sometimes he does end up having fun. I think it will also be a good day to plant the cherry pits I saved, to see if I can grow my own trees. If I don’t end up with my own yard to plant them in next summer, I will put one or two in a container. The rest I will plant around in unexpected places and hope they thrive. Like near abandoned buildings, roadside clearings etc.

It is Not Over Yet

This year still has 2 more days to go. I am glad I did not over eat today. I watched Precious on Netflix last night. I watched Unknown tonight, my sister rented it. It was good to watch some real movies vs. the animated my son gravitates to. I entered the HGTV dream house giveaway, like I do every year. I would never drive the tank they are giving away, but I would sell it and buy a scooter and maybe an electric car. I would not live in Utah either. No offense if that state is your cup of tea, but it is not mine. I would have fun going through the stuff in the house and having a garage sale with all I find hideous. They usually have a few pieces that are the most drab, along with some amazing pieces.

Felt the Wind Chill Today

Mom's tree

So far this season the snow has been insignificant. Today we were supposed to get 2-4 inches, but happily that did not happen. It did snow, and went from 40 degrees to low 20s in the morning. While doing my errands after therapy, I remembered how cold the wind can feel when it whipped snow into my eyes. Luckily, my hair is now pixie short, and I don’t have to worry about the resulting tangled mess I used to deal with. That tangled mop used to keep my head and ears warm. I had to resort to wearing a headband. I used to have ear cuffs, but I don’t know what happened to them.

I had just occupational therapy today. She did see an improvement in my finger movement, so she wants me to work on my grip strength. She gave me two different foam blocks to bring home to squeeze. Squeezing them is easy, it is releasing them that takes time. I was trying to show her how I moved my wrist more, but that did not happen at therapy. My blood pressure has been high the last two days. I would guess it is from eating cookies, and leftover birthday cake. I did not eat any leftover cake today. I decided it would be best to freeze it in individual portions. My son has not been eating it either, but that is how he always is.

My son finally decided on a few lego sets he spent his gifted cash on. I helped him order them online, since he does not need to put any extra on my card. I also picked him up another iTunes card, since he carefully decided to spend more on that too. He does have a bit of cash left, so I am trying to encourage him to save it. He now gets the privilege of learning anticipation. He is asking me about business days. He now will be more cheerful when I ask him to put his boots on and get the mail.

I still have not decided if I am going to make any resolutions for next year, beyond the generalizations. If I don’t make any, I can’t break them. However, if I don’t have goals, will I make them? Maybe I will just resolve on making a vision journal. I also have to decide if I want to keep up the 365 thing for 2012. Without it, I will not have the useless dribble. I am not certain I would post regularly without it.

Ticking the Days Away

Lead the way to a new year

With only a few days left this year, I am contemplating what I can do to make next year better. Better health is a given. I always want to lose all the weight that creeps on when I am not looking. Since I have been literally sitting around eating birthday cake, Christmas cookies, and leftovers the last few days…….I can’t wait to make New Year’s resolutions……..this year I am going to make new LIFE resolutions. I am trying to make the best of my financial situation. I need to push myself to get out of the house every day. I can never forget for a moment that the food I shove in my mouth could be what kills me. I was doing so well sticking to my diet when I left rehab. I have to get back to that point again soon. The one little treat won’t hurt mentality is totally false. Those little treats are not deserved if I don’t exercise at all. I let myself slide every winter. I hate going outside to face the blasting chill. I can not keep myself in the plastic bubble I have surrounded myself with. I won’t die if I fall on the ice, I will pick myself up and brush myself off. It might take me longer to get up, but it will happen. I will shut my ears to all the negative comments I know will be coming, they will be there anyway. I won’t let them tear me down or dissuade me.

A Federal Holiday

A random House Christmas 2010

I was surprised that the banks and post offices were closed today. Oh, well back to normal tomorrow. My son had a great day. His friend that could not make his party came by early in his pjs. They played nerf guns. Later another friend came over and they played nerf guns as well. They did take breaks to play with the ipad touch, wii, and occasional texting. My son does not have a cell phone, his friend was texting. We went to see the Chipmunk movie, after pizza and cake. It was ok. It was full of pop songs, if I did not have a 12 year old, I never would have heard them before. I could have fell asleep during the movie, I am glad it was only a little over an hour long.

I am letting my son stay up until midnight. Just for tonight, it’s his day. He can’t get enough video games. I might have to start a 12 step program, to get the kids away from the electronics and into the real world. I am tired, so will start on that tomorrow.

My Son’s Birthday Eve

My youngest turns 12 tomorrow. Does that make me feel old? No, but everything else does. His birthday gifts are laid out under the Christmas tree, a tradition he likes and expects. I hope he has a good time tomorrow. I tried to talk him into having a half birthday in the summer. He does not even want to think about waiting half a year. He had to grow up more than he wanted this year.

A big seat to fill

It is snowing now, and he informed me he is not going to play outside tomorrow. I just think that is out of defiance that I won’t drive him hours to shop. His combined Christmas and birthday money is burning a hole in his pocket. I am trying to get him to see the beauty, economy, and ease of online shopping.

If it was not snowing and my tire light was not back on, I would probably cave. I hope he gets over it, and looks forward to the half birthday I will start planning for June.

 

Looks Like I am Screwed Again

Just a brief moment in time

I got a letter in the mail, about 7-8 pages long. I read through the whole thing and came to the conclusion, I am shit out of luck again. I love when it says see section so and so, I read three times over and section so and so is not there. Back to square one calling to see what kind of health insurance, if it will cover my therapy and meds, and how much it will cost me. I can see it now, last time they would not give me any answers until my start date. So much for being proactive. Hopefully, it won’t cost my life. That means when I call and get an ignorant witch, like I have in the past and have no more answers when I hang up then when I started my blood pressure is going to go through the roof. I wish health insurance was like gold coins, I would buy me the biggest bazooka and steal it, then give it away to people who need it. Dumb -asses standing in my way would get blown away. I am the type of person that would not hurt a fly, just to give you an indication of how pissed off this makes me.

The sad part is, why don’t they just make it simple to understand. Like one or two pages of direct information. If this means they are going to send me more catalog size booklets of provider listings in triplicate, and they can’t figure out that is unnecessary costs then they deserve to go bankrupt. Streamlined, computerized information makes it into every sector except healthcare. Common sense is what is missing all around.  I guess that is one thing the United States does not import from China. What are we really paying by lacking common sense in healthcare? It will be a sad day when the increasingly obese middle class population has heath care problems of the same or worse magnitude as me. Excuse me, I am going to take my self prescribed dose of Fukitol.

Picture by iPod touch

don't you know you are a superstar

I always use my own pictures. Today’s picture was taken by my 11 soon to be 12 year old with his new iPod touch. He likes to make videos and take pictures. He might be the next great director or not. Anyway, he does not have his own computer (and for good reasons, mostly censorship), his pictures download to mine. His birthday is December 26th. He is looking forward to it. He wants carrot cake with chocolate frosting (he is my kid). I tried to talk him into having a half birthday party in the summer. Two out of three friends can’t make his party on Monday. He wants nothing to do with the summer party, so a very small party will be had on Monday.

I need to fight the crowds tomorrow (ha, ha no crowd in this town) to get the supplies for his cake. He wants pizza from the pizza place (he always eats my homemade pizza), so I will give in to that too. There is supposed to be a bit of snow tomorrow, hopefully that will put this household in the Christmas spirit. Today would have been a great day for walking in the sunshine. I could not get my act together and get outside. My blood pressure was high, even with the additional med. I drank a ton of water. Sometimes, I think my thoughts are killing me from the inside out. Make that most of the time not sometimes. Yes, I really need to get out tomorrow, and listen to music while I am home.

Christmas Cards Ready to Go

I have a weekness for stone buildings

I have been known to mail out my cards after Christmas, or not at all. I had most of mine ready to go by Saturday this year. I attempted to buy Christmas stamps, but the post office has bankers hours around here. I finally stopped at the post office on the way home from my doctor appointment. I was told the Christmas stamps sold out last week. I was wondering on the way back to the car how they could have sold out. I guess they did not anticipate the demand, or they simply did not care to have excess inventory. I guess that makes sense if they are cutting back, or planning to close all together. I hope they do not close in my lifetime. We can not tele-port the smell and feel of real cards, letters, envelopes, and catalogs. We could do without the junk mail. I need the post office for the slew of protest letters I need to send to my former employer, insurance companies, and county assistance office. I had an ongoing exchange with social service agency worker in my former state. I should send him a Christmas card. I did have more conversations by phone and letter with him than I did with most of my family members.

My doctor appointment today was the typical wait forever. Sit and wait some more. Then when the doctor arrives I am too tired and hungry to remember what to tell him. My blood pressure record of the last two months told the tale for me. He changed my as needed med to an everyday med. I also left without making sure I had the signed script to get my own NMES from OT. Hopefully, they have it faxed and waiting for my therapy session tomorrow. I want my electrical stimulation back for my wrist. What is wrong with these people? The sooner I get more therapy, the quicker I am closer to normal. Days turn to weeks, weeks to months. It is my hibernation period. I want my therapy to work miracles for next Spring. Enough ranting, it gets old, even to me.

My son is excited, tomorrow is his last day of school for the year.  I can’t wait to sleep in for a week or more. That sounds like I am lazy, but I am always awake until 2 AM. I think 7 hours of sleep is reasonable.