I Joined Planet Fitness


I don’t expect to look like Marilyn anytime soon. I do hope I get to work out my paralyzed side on some machines. I also will have somewhere to go when it is dark and rainy. I had hoped to get there today, but I spent too long looking for a lost item I had sold. It was driving me nuts, but I finally found it. I still have not found my lost ATM card. Tomorrow I hope to get my tire fixed then go to trivia night.

I have been very tired the last few days. I hope to catch up on sleep soon. I am trying to focus all my energy on making more money this month. I have planned many things with the money I did not make yet.

Inside My Mind


My thoughts are always racing around. Pinging from one corner to another, getting caught up in the nooks and crannies of my brain. Some thoughts keep moving, some I try to recall. The new thoughts from things I just read…they make so much sense I say aha, this is what I need or how I should live. Those thoughts vanish, or drown in my old thoughts. The heavy thoughts and dark thoughts always find their way back. I must keep myself busy and stop having these imaginary conversations in my head. I listen to music, it helps. It gives the thoughts some rhythm and now I want to dance. I want to learn how to dance better, I want to belly dance. I want both sides to flow freely. I want to be part of a flash mob. It will make a statement, yet I won’t be singled out, I will blend in. Everybody dance.

I hear the music. The words are so sweet. So sweet to have lived that way if only for a moment.

Summer Is Over, With A Slap To The Face


I had my son put away the lawn rake and bring out the snow shovels. I have two of my outdoor chairs inside the shed already with the other two soon to follow. My heat has been on for days if not weeks. I looked at this picture and noticed the changing colors in the background. I did not notice while I was there. I guess I was more focused on taking my dog for a walk, and walking myself. I tried to avoid the fallen acorns.

Notice who is in the driver seat. People really like to see her there. It is a conversation starter. She is so comical, and really bummed I did not let her out with me here. I did walk her on the other side of the park, where no other dogs were around. There were none around here either, but lots of squirrels. There was also several campers so the potential of a dog in one was too much for me to handle. She is too strong for me to walk casually with. She pulls me off balance too many times in excitement going from my front door to the car.

Today I was mellow. I stayed home all day. I will be fixing my ATM card situation tomorrow. I continued listing items on Ebay, and hope to break my record without any returns this month.

My 4 Year Anniversary Yo!


It’s my Anniversary with Word Press…they congratulated me, or I would not have known. I am 52 and alone. My new guy turns out not that into me. He wants to improve himself…cough cough, cry. I have been alone longer than with someone.

I am a lovable bundle of fun. Who would not want to be with me? I love myself. I really thought I finally hit it off with someone, but I am let down again. I don’t have a clue as to what I am doing wrong. Somebody please clue me in.

Random Things On My Camera


I dropped my camera, yet again, really hard. So hard it came apart. I asked my son to help me put it back together. Miraculously, it still works, even though parts are still sticking out. I guess this pic of his hand was taken while he was fixing it.

My iphoto slows my computer down. I try to delete my ebay pics as soon as I list the items. I have been trying to get my other pics in google plus. I still need a hard back up. My son might have enough saved by the end of the year to get his own computer. I hope to put the theory of his online gaming is slowing my computer down to the test. Meanwhile, I keep plugging along.

I am having a hard month, with one untimely Ebay return. The end of the month is always hard for me. Yesterday, I paid for gas with a Sacajawea coin, and half dollars. Today I will pay for ebay shipping with dimes and quarters. I hope it all resolves itself soon.

What Can I Do?


I am overload of deciding what to do with the tons of crapola I have brought into my house to sell. To be fair to myself, not all of it was to sell. I am trying to downsize, so I can clean easier. I feel like a need a van to haul all this stuff to goodwill. I had the nerve to list a yard sale for yesterday. I then got a reality check in the morning of how much work it is for little profit. So yesterday and today I am trying to put stuff up on craigslist and ebay. Craigslist out in this rural area is very slow. I usually only put things on there that are very hard to ship. Yesterday, I gave away for free my houseplants. That is one less thing I have to worry about taking care of. My son’s doctor also said they could be a source of allergies. So between my son and dog and the houseplants, I got rid of the plants. I also got rid of a rusty old hammock stand. I only used it a few times. Mostly because my yard to relax is on a busyish corner with no fence for privacy.

If the mood hits me, I will fill up my car with a load for goodwill. I actually have one garbage bag of stuff that is going regardless.

I Am Still Here


I flew by myself, for the first time ever. Not a big deal, except worrying about my stroke brain….and plane crashes. I am afraid of heights, deathly afraid of flying. I have anxiety of new things in general. I was afraid of being caught up in the security line. I was sort of, but they quickly had me step aside to swab my palms once I told them I could not hold my arm up. It helped I started from a small airport, and had a non-stop flight.

I am very tired. Since coming home I have not had uninterrupted sleep. I have had to drive my son to school from him missing the bus. My dog has been sick and I had to let her out several times. I was all snug and ready to fall asleep tonight, but I forgot to take my meds. I had to come out to get water.

Tomorrow I hope will be my day to catch up and get things done.



I drove around a little after I dropped my son off at his group meeting. I saw an awesomw halloween display on someones porch. I hope to get my lights up with a few decorations this year.

I had a real horror in my garbage can. A possum was in there yesterday, when I tipped the can over today with a rake it was still there. I left the garbage can sideways and took off. I was too scared to see if it was dead or alive…my son said it was alive yesterday. I want it to be scared of me and run off into the woods. I don’t think it did.

Tomorrow is a new day. It is warming up again. I am so glad I won’t have to wear socks for awhile. I am almost packed for my trip. I still need to clean my house. My house always needs cleaning.

I lost a few more pounds. I am starving right now. I ate dinner late so I should not be hungry at all. I went to the doctor today. I have to go back in two months after I do bloodwork and a chest xray. I was surprised they said chest xray. The receptionist said they are routine, every year. Huh, I don’t remember having one ever.

There Is More Than One Way To Recycle


All the paper I am hoarding now can be sold by my great great offspring. I am just kidding of course, if this junk does not sell in a few months it is going in a large bin at the dump. I am hoping it sells.

I also have my own hoard of paper called snail mail. Collectors still use this ancient form of communication. I swear I will get through sorting mine tomorrow. My town uses it for their tax bill. I made a mistake last year of having the bank just cut them a check. They did not know what to do with it.

My son did not go to school today. He did wake himself up and start to get ready. He then woke me up to tell me he was not going, he did not feel good. Well I heard him sneeze all night, so I knew it was allergies. I told him he is taking an allergy pill and going tomorrow. One thing that is good with him being home, is I got him to take the garbage out. He had a surprise waiting for him in my empty garbage can. There was a possum inside. Yikes, I tried to look to see if it was gone later, I was too scared to get close enough to look in. I thought of tipping it over with a rake, which is what I will do tomorrow. At least it was not a skunk. I hope the bag of garbage sitting in my lawn makes it through the night undisturbed.

The Universe Provides


I asked and I received the best cat, the best grandkids, and soon I will meet my love.

I have done something different, because doing the same thing over and over without getting the intended results is futile. I have met someone online from a facebook group and will meet him in person next weekend. Don’t bother with your warnings that I will meet a fate such as death or worse. I have already met worse it is called my life since the stroke. Even if I am killed in a plane crash on the way there, or by getting tied up and tortured I will be happy that I did something positive for a change. I finally am starting to let go of my fears so I can have a happy life.

We need to take small chances, work on miracles, and go for our dreams. Sitting alone day after day is not a life. Make your miracle happen for you today. Feel free to enjoy mine as well, yet I won’t be sharing every detail. I can not change everything about me at once.