Filling In My Missing Thankful Journal


Pic of the Lemon Meringue Pie I made for my preggers d-i-l craving. It is not as perfectly even as it could have been. I am just happy it came out edible and had quirky bejeweled shimmering beads on top. (?)

I am making this post to “fill in” the missing pieces of my attitude for gratitude November Thankful Days journal. (so many puns, so little I wrote them all down to identify what I had previously posted and to see what days I had missed. It looks like I was a slacker all week, and duplicated a few days. Oh well it is what it is, post stroke I just don’t give a rats ass about mistakes I have made.

Day 21-I was thankful for days I don’t have to make sure my son went to school. (it’s Saturday) He actually made it a week and a half or more on his own. Relying on his alarm clock or internal clock, either way, I am glad he is growing more responsible.

Day 22-I was thankful for quarters and the new laundry mat close enough for me to dry my clothes and towels.

Day 23-I was thankful for delicious pasta, with no salt added jarred sauce and onions and peppers to provide an inexpensive but delicious meal…I think it is better than any pasta dish I have ate at a restaurant. For about $4 for two people, I ask why would I order pasta when I go out? The answer is, so I don’t have to wash the dishes and clean up the stove and counter and sometimes the floor…ha ha.

Day 24-I am so grateful my son has a wonderful counselor that he likes, trusts, and has helped to guide my son a bit back from the edge.

Day 26-It is Thanksgiving, I am so happy and grateful to get to spend it with all my kids and their spouses, my grandkids, and their friends. I like spending time with my family….maybe they think it is the cliche dysfunctional group, but I think we had a peaceful happy gathering…and I was not on drugs, I only had 1/2 glass of wine on ice.

Black Friday, Thankful For Not Shopping

IMG_4648I am very Thankful today 27th day this month (I will fill in my missing days next post) to be able to sit home and eat leftover pie for breakfast. My daughter and daughter in law did a bang up job cooking and prepping for our feast. I made two pies, contributed the ingredients for the third pie, and we pieced together a sampler of a whole pie to take back home. We did so, to make room in my daughter in laws fridge…ha ha. We continued our tradition from last year of about one whole pie per person. Love and Abundance is really what I am thankful for, crave, and have no need to purchase TODAY. I purposely try to stay home on this day to avoid all the people, drama, and negative energy that creeps into some as psycho selfish frenzied glutenous consumerism. This is just my opinion, so don’t feel bad if you felt you needed to get a bargain. I just wish that the pregnant walmart worker was not trampled to death a few years back, may her soul rest in peace.

The Harsh Reality of Trying To Be Thankful For What You Have

 “A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.”

― Robert A. Heinlein

In my inbox this morning was this quote. Hello, I am neurotic insecure. I have greatly realized this year that being jealous gets me nowhere. I also know that after having a stroke and not being able to do what I used to causes many jealousies to form. I want to run. I want POSITIVE attention from other people. I want to realize my dreams and aspirations. I hate having other peoples success seam unattainable to me. Don’t misunderstand me, I like to see others happy. I just need to learn why good things are not happening for me.

I will post later my days of attitude for gratitude journal. I just needed to share this quote, because I wanted to get all my negative energy out, so I can kill it once and for all. Does that seem neurotic?

Days 19 and 20 Grateful Journal


Yesterday I was thankful like everyday just to be alive. I did a few household chores and picked up a pizza for dinner. The pizza was my peace offering to my son for helping me with the garbage. I make it his job to put the bags in the car and take them out and through them in the dumpster at the transfer station. They are far too heavy for me. I would be able to do this without him, because I have in the past. My garbage is much heavier now with kitty litter. I might experiment next year with kitty litter flower garden.

It was the start of another ebay promo yesterday, so I spent awhile relisting almost 200 of my unsold items. I am seriously thinking about just getting rid of my postcards in one big lot. They take too long to sell individually in general. I will still sell them, but only list them once and if they don’t sell quick they will go into the big lot of postcards. I might do the same with buttons and all my smalls that are not selling after two or three listings. I am going to group them all together into estate junk drawer lots. I have way too much junk in my super small house.

Today I am thankful for another sunny day. It is very cool outside, but I don’t care. My heat inside my house is turned up to 72 degrees for my old dog to be comfy. I just love how the sun gives me extra energy and lifts my spirits. I am going to try to move some of the leaves away from my house later and try to get them to stay in my garden area.



Day 18 of my Attitude For Gratitude


This pic I took with my kindle, so not high quality, but it shows my old loves greying face as she sleeps on my shoulder. I had to leave her home alone today for about an hour. She does not like to be left behind. Her face used to be all black on the side. She seems to fill in with more white every day for the last few years.

I went to get my blood work done and a chest x-ray for my upcoming doctor appointment. I then went shopping for some last minute Thanksgiving items. I forgot some and could not find one at the two stores I went to. I might have to go to Wegmans (a bigger store near Syracuse) to get one ingredient for my pregnant daughter in laws pie request. Of course after helping my son carry everything in, and I putting it all away, I laid down to watch youtube videos (my netflix was not loading). I also read a bit more of my book about the human vibration. I am learning all the answers to my questions of why not me? Here is a hint, I need to breath deeper, to get more oxygen into my blood. This is a tip that is beneficial to everyone.

Today, I am thankful for getting all the rest I require. Some days, when I am down, I stay sleeping too long. I am going to try to get up earlier and earlier everyday, until I get a more regular sleep pattern going. I am not going to allow myself to sleep my life away. At the same time, I am going to take naps to recharge. I still get strong stroke fatigue. I know the difference between my sad states and my stroke tired feelings.

Day 17 Attitude For Gratitude


I am grateful for the long way photography has come in the last 100 years. I watched two movies of my granddaughter at her 2nd birthday party without even being there. I watched them over and over, she is so precious.
Her dad took them with his iphone and emailed them to us. It was easy peasy, and free. (well after paying for phone and internet plans and equipment) Hopefully. I can watch these movies as long as I live. They most likely will be digitally stored on a cloud.

Day 16 I Am Thankful For Other Bloggers

I started reading blogs less than 5 years ago. I believe it was because I was super isolated and bored post stroke. I was seeking out other stroke survivors, long before I knew there were stroke support groups on facebook. (I have been on facebook groups since I joined fb in 2006) I was reading today  another stroke survivor blog that was one of the first I have read, there were thinking of stopping posts. I decided that I am truly thankful for the opportunity to read everyone’s blogs besides my own. I hope everyone keeps making posts when they can.

I also read quite a few non-stroke blogs, because who wants to live 24/7 in a stroke saturated world? I am just naturally curious and like to look up different subjects from time to time. One blog I found actually had advertised on craigslist! She is not stroke related but only lives an hour or so away from my area.  I also sub to some photography and other artsy types and or homesteading types. Each one is unique, and I like to read diversely.IMG_5684

Days 14 and 15 November Thankful Days


Day 14, I am thankful for Hard Cider becoming a more popular drink. It has slightly less alcohol than wine, and to me it tastes much yummier. I noticed in the grocery store more varieties and brands of hard ciders and other sweet but hard bottled drinks. For example hard root beer, and some candy flavored drink I can not remember the name right now. The reason I am thankful, I can now order a drink in a bottle at most any bar. To someone that does not walk the most gracefully post stroke like me, these little things make a huge difference in my comfort level going out. It also takes off the edge without me getting shit faced drunk. Post stroke I can not drink too much both because of all the meds I am on plus the heartburn it gives me.

Day 15 which is today, I am thankful for sunny good weather days. I appreciate them, all the more, following a day like yesterday when it was trying to snow, ice pellets falling, wind, rain and all the grey miserable skies. I have several branches to clear from my yard, I also have some pictures to take which works best on sunny days. I also liked the clear weather driving home in the dark. I went along the lake and had some pretty views. I also did not see any deer near the road, which to me is good while driving. I did not take my camera. I even forgot my phone so I did not get any good pics while there was plenty of opportunity.

Days 12 AND 13 Of Being Thankful, Gratitude Month, Attitude Always


I am not sure what happened yesterday, I am sure I must have been distracted from posting my gratitude. To confess, I am making these up on the fly. Other than in general of being thankful for life, more so post stroke, I don’t really think of what I am going to write about. I guess that is what this whole movement is about, making everyone ponder and reach deep down to find gratitude and be thankful. The one or two facebook peeps doing this are religious (Christian), I do not follow a religion at this point in my reflective life. (I have not for decades) Another wordpress blog is doing this daily gratitude thing, and if you want to look at her take on this as well, look at:

Day 12 I was thankful for downtime in my warm house. I opened the door only to let the dog out. It was windy, really windy and I was really into just being comfortable watching youtube videos most of the day. I also watched Ellen on TV, because my kindle ran out of charge. I made bacon for my son, and I ate two pieces as well. It was turkey bacon, because I choose not to eat pork. It happened to say less sodium on the package, so I ate it without looking at what amount of sodium. (I am on a low sodium diet) I also made some awesome pepper, onion, and egg tortillas (tacos, burritos, whatever) We had breakfast for dinner, because I hate eating a lot in the morning. It seems like everyday is downtime day for me, but yesterday was even lazier.

Day 13, today, I am thankful for my ability to dream. In my sleep and daydream, both give me hope that there is a solution to what is puzzling me. I have had ordinary dreams lately and they escape me soon after waking up. They still have left me with a good feeling, unlike nightmares, I want to go to sleep so I can dream more.  I hope today my daydream that my house is clean comes true. I hope to get rid of bags of stuff to goodwill today. I plan on washing blankets and towels then taking them to the laundrymat to dry. I am actually skipping the auction this week, because I have too much stuff. I actually want to part with everything and clear lots of space out.